Dear Diary,
According to GCal I've logged 89 small - medium sized tasks. Most of them insignificant. I've probably created about 40 more over the next few weeks, most of them reading tasks. I have been excercising plasticity of the mind today through reading a whole lot of articles and online pages. Today was the SlutWalk, which hasn't skipped my attention, although I'm not a woman I am very supportive of the notion and I think its great women made a stand. I however, am a male, and a bystanding commentator (well I wasn't a bystander at central london today, I mean proverbial).
So I mentioned that I had a whole lot of tasks to complete over the next 14 days. I still do, as it happens. The positive thing however, is that I have cleared up so much of it that don't feel *as* bad that now after I finish the post, I'm going to have a big wank, and then log my walking data for today. It's exceptionally important for me to keep records. I haven't logged my weight for the past couple of days. Part of that is fear, today and yesterday I have eaten a little more than I should have. I have this massive fear that I will go on the scales and see 233 or 240lbs on the scales. Maybe that sounds irrational, but there are a lot of dark places in my mind, many never too far from consciousness.
I ate maybe a bit over 2000kcal, according to my log, probably under 2200kcal. I ate 100g of salad today, and to put that in context, that's half of the bag. It tasted horrible and it was a massive chore. I hope it makes my bowels clear a bit easier come tomorrow morning. On catching up with my blogs today, I kept up with a few audio stories. I'm getting a bit into H.P. Lovecraft, I know I'm a bit of a johnny come lately with this, I see everyone with a Cthulu T-Shirt and in a sense, I see them as venerating Cthulu as a similar figure to the Flying Spaghetti monster and having the pertinent veneration of Richard Dawkins: some kind of ironic religious spirituality. Anyway, I have gotten none of that impression from actually reading Lovecraft, My initial impression was that it's a bit Edgar Allen Poe, and now perhaps the last story I read was a little bit more dark, more weird, definately not like Poe in some stories.
Considering most of my day involved solitary confinement, I've also kept to a bit of activity. My 25th birthday looms exceptionally close and I seem oblivious to it, I fear one day I'll finish reading articles and realise I'm 65 living in my parents' house still. My God, that's a scary thought. I need to start living beyond websites and books. Gay rights and feminism is all good and well, but maybe I should start doing things in the world instead of reading about how its falling apart through the economy and government. I also have this overwhelming belief that some new Hitler-like figure is going to emerge, I then think (this is a less prevalent thought) that it would be me. Failed academic they will call me, they will think I have one ball, probably the pillow fucking thing will come out as well. I'm babbling now.
Have I done enough today? Have I achieved enough? Considering the backlog I've had due to work, interview and fatigue this week starting from Tuesday and finishing by about 9am today (when I woke up feeling refreshed and caught up on sleep), I think that I did catch up. I have a little bit more catching up to do, in fairness, but it's a good step forward, even if its a quiet one.
I have two more minor things to do whiel I remember them, and my day shall be complete!
Good night.
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