I'm having an anger trigger. I'm going to answer some questions from a website to try and work through it:

 What am I reacting to?

I'm angry about the fact that I've been invited to an interview, where there will probably be loads of people who are 21years old and will probably get the job and I won't I'm angry at the fact that its for an unpaid internship that won't help me in any way at all. I'm angry for the fact that this is the only hope I have

What is it that's really pushing my buttons here?

I'm angry at the fact that I've not had a proper job since finishing university, and all my friends are successful. It's not for want of trying. Every interview I get doesn't lead me closer to the goal, I just feel like I'm wasting my time, and I'm wasting my effort with optimism. I'm angry at the fact that I'm from a working class background and nothing is working for me.

Is this fact or opinion?

Some are facts, some are interpretations. Fact: I've not had a decent paying job that can make me independent. Fact: Graduates from 2011 would be 21 years old. Opinion: Optimism is useless, I did get an interview. Opinion: I feel like I'm not welcome because I'm older than most of the graduates. Opinion: I feel worthless because I haven't had a proper job and that I've become stale, or that I've lost my hope.

Am I getting things out of proportion? 

I don't know to be honest. I'm still feeling really angry, and I'm really pissed off at the fact that this organisation didn't let me in last year.

How important is this really? 

I need to work. Having a job makes all the difference in the world: AND THIS IS FOR AN UNPAID INTERNSHIP

How important will it be in 6 months time? 

Depends: will I get a job? Will I get the internship? I feel that the answer to at least one of them is no. I feel the answer to both will be: no

What harm has actually been done?

This really hurts my self esteem, and it reminds me of the painful fact that the world is unfair, and I deserve better.

Am I expecting something from this person or situation that is unrealistic?

What's the worst (and best) that could happen?  What's most likely to happen?

I won't get the interview, I'll lose £25 from counselling. I'll have a hurt ego, it will affect the rest of my applications, it might make me binge, I'll lose money. I'll feel insecure. Some 21 year old fuck with a BA in media from lancaster or bullshit university will overshadow me and get the role and end up being wildly successful and rise up the social and economic classes, while I work in a menial job that doesn't pay enough for the rest of my life. Is this exercise supposed to make me feel better? It just crystalises my grief

Best outcome? I might get the job, they give me a job, and maybe I'll work in policy.

Realistic outcome: I go, do okay in the interviews but I still don't get the job.

Am I jumping to conclusions about what this person meant?  Am I mis-reading between the lines?  Is it possible that they didn't mean that?

Not sure. They invited me because they think I was a good candidate. Application odds probably 1/4 to interview. Realistic interview prospects leading to job? 4*6/50 as a simplified fraction 1/n I guess.

What do I want or need from this person or situation?  What do they want or need from me?  Is there a compromise?

Is there a compromise? I reschedule the counselling appointment, go to the interview, and get on with my life. I'll try to 'recover' when I don't get the role...

What would be the consequences of responding angrily?

Back where I begun, except no interview. I guess this is a relevant case of 'better than nothing'.

Is there another way of dealing with this?  What would be the most helpful and effective action to take?  (for me, for the situation, for the other person)

Reorganise counselling session. Go to interview.

 

As I was writing up these answers, I emailed the counselling place. Time will tell...