After reading through what I've just written, it sounds more optimistic than I expected.

Dear Diary,

I've realised that I've only applied to ONE job over the past week. I've not been very forthright in my job hunt. I've been lazy in that regard. In other regards I have not been lazy: I've been trying to juggle finances, I've created a bank account and I've had a bit of a social life. On my mind in recent days is the outcome of the interview that I had last week. Part of me (more than a small part) is hoping, almost even expecting an email telling me that I've got the job. In fact, I know that once I'm told that I don't have the job (an outcome that always happens), I'll have a massive crash and feel pretty shit about myself. I had a moment earlier where I seriously thought about purging.

So what's happening today? Today I got the cheque for selling my DVDs, I'm planning to go out later as well. I've also sent one job application and did a bit of job searching as well. Another plan which I have today is to send off the shift list for October to my boss. I have lots of tasks on my schedule, and I'm going through them pretty quickly. I suppose I can't ask much more of myself than that. I might take a little break now, then take a walk to the bank. I'm tempted to finish my day early on the basis of meeting up with some friends for the planned sojourn tonight. I don't want to give the impression of compromising my tasks, though. I must not be complacent, I must not be lazy.

Speaking about not being lazy. I did pretty well at the gym yesterday. I did an intensive session with mostly weights and calisthenics. Afterward I did some badminton practice with my neighbours. Maybe in a few weeks I'll be able to play with them. That would be really nice. I've never been one for sports (because of my disability), but now that I'm getting a little better at badminton, its helping my hand-eye co-ordination (my disability) and its giving me a sense of confidence. I'm also combining my new-found physical fitness as well. Perhaps this will open a new lifestyle for me.

Okay. Back to my day. After reading through what I've just written, it sounds more optimistic than I expected.