enduring fatigue

Dear Diary,

I'm pretty tired at the moment. Lots of things are going on and my energy levels are limited. I went airsofting yesterday, it was great and I had a great time. There were moments however when I had extreme fatigue and needed to go to the safe zone for a break. I chose to leave, and then bail out for half of one game and take a breather at the other. I think I might ask for a blood test to see if I have diabetes (at the recommendation of a friend). I don't feel perhaps that there was anything anomalous about getting especially tired when I was running and screaming and rolling about. I'm still feeling the fatigue right now.

There was a plan to go and see the boys after airsofting and have dinner together. I was too tired and slept in at home. After 4 or so hours of sleep I woke up and I was awake up to 4-5am. I woke up around 10am and my period of disorientation was slowly returning to normality. I decided to ignore my schedule for this morning and afternoon and instead go for lunch at a cafe with friends from yesterday. I then watched some videos from last night and we had a bit of a laugh. I've come back home, tidied up a little and had a shower (long overdue). There is a choir meeting later today and I'm uncertain as to whether I should go. On the one hand I'm really tired, on the other I can make new friends, have a bit of fun and maybe work on my anxiety (as well as my physical fatigue). As a final balancing point I don't know if we are doing SATB or Treble/Descant.

There are a lot of things that I could meditate on right now, most of them are basically thoughts to the effect of: I have so much to do! I would love to play skyrim all night. I would also like to make up for my mistakes in life, I would like to try and get my life back. I would like to meet new people. Lots of thoughts are rolling through my head and I would like to have time to process them emotionally and deal with them as vignette blog posts. However time is against me. Maybe if I keep pushing myself on a regular basis I'll eventually start to feel better and my fitness will improve. So long as I start eating properly. I've had a lot of junk in me. Earlier in the week one of my colleagues was eating a box of salad inside a Carte D'Or ice cream box, the irony was interesting, and I just thought how skinny she was and the salad eating corroborated that fact. I on the other hand ate a massive packet of crisps, and then another.

Onwards