Blogcrastination

Dear Diary,

I think I am well beyond my denial about the fact that the cold times are here, that is to say, I've very much embraced this fact. My pattern has changed since I've stopped counselling. I think this is more because of my activity levels than because of the counselling. My hands are getting cold so I have put on some gloves. I have about 5 hours left today in which to get my tasks completed. I have a lot to catch up on. Tomorrow I will be mostly thinking about airsofting and so it will not be prominent on my mind to catch up. Today I'm working in the evening, and I'll be back home probably by midnight. Last week when I had the long shift I thought to myself: After today it's going to be clear sailing. How wrong I was! I haven't played skyrim in a couple of days and if anything, I've lost interest a  bit in the game now, so I am working more in the real world than the world where I have dragon armour.

My mum is nagging my dad today, I know that's nothing particularly new, but when I hear that nagging voice of hers in that tone it really drains me. On the way home I was thinking something very fucked up: I was thinking about the things I liked about when I purged. In a way I miss those days. I miss having emotional support and the feeling that somebody cares and understands. I think I am either visualising mia as a person, or am putting what I felt about Marie into my mind. I have to say that these are largely small thoughts. I've mainly been thinking about other things, I've been concentrating on my work I am a busy bee today, I'll have to be a thoughtless slave for a few hours, then I'm off to work. Tomorrow will provide some respite, I suppose. I haven't been to the gym at all this week. My shoulder was giving me some issues, and I dont think I should go tomorrow if on pain of invoking a reoccurence. Maybe I'll just do cardio instead. Now to get back to work...