I can resist temptation

Dear Diary,

Often at times I want to talk about something, at any given time I may have a vvery specific thing that I wish to talk about. This morning I have a very specific direction of things that I want to think about, which is to the avoidance of things I wanted to think about. As I got up this morning I checked my weight. I'm nearly about to pass the 210.00 lb limit. This means that I will soon (with luck) be able to pass my weight boundary. I shall then attempt to reach 200lbs, while still very overweight, it is at least enough loss to feel slightly more socially acceptable.

Yesterday I was out after the talk. I wore mainly my t-shirt and a jacket as a higher layer. In addition to this I went out to a restaurant with the group. We decided to consume some food (as inevitable restaurants are in this regard). I ate as little as possible. I ignored the appetisers, starters and just had a main. I also avoided alcohol. I suppose my mantra for that day was 'I shall resist temptation'. I avoided alcohol, I avoided getting too emotional, I avoided not my anxiety but many of the effects of feeling anxious. I barely ate anything yesterday. I guess that's how I effectively lost so much weight between yesterday and today. It feels good to say no. It feels good to control the ways I eat food. It feels good to resist what I want to do.

I've got a lot to do. For the past month and a half, I've always had some little event or big event to look forward to prospectively, which has affected me seeing the days as 'normal'. I had a wedding, a birthday, interviews, and it seems, this talk. I have airsofting later on as well, and then paintballing. For the next few days, however, I have a whole lot of tasks set for myself. Knowing me, I will probably surmount them soon enough. Sunday after all, is my reading day.

I'm going to eat now. I'm hungry. I am allowed to eat, right?