It's easier to be angry than it is to be upset. Its easier to be a thug than it is to be a struggling nice guy.
It's hard to admit when you have problems. It's easy to hide away from facing them, which include not acknowledging them, and if it involves people.
There was a guy who died earlier this year, we called him loser. I've vowed for much of my life not to be like the loser. I think I am the loser, or a loser. I have a lot of financial worries. I'm worried about the fact that I can't afford counselling. I got my shifts for january in yesterday, there are only two shifts available this month, that means I'll be paid £81, if one is to deduce tax. I spent a shitload today, and I think a bit of it was *unnecessary*. I was so focussed, so fixated on wanting an xbox, that I overwent on my expenditures. I bought an xbox, that's all good and well, but it didn't have a modem. In order to play with my friends, I need a modem, a connection to xbox live, the right games (i've only got two games sofar), and a keyboard and headset to communicate with. I need to factor in the fact that:
Here's to taking a deep breath, and diving in.
I shouldn't hide my sorrows in xbox gaming.
It's hard to admit when you have problems. It's easy to hide away from facing them, which include not acknowledging them, and if it involves people.
There was a guy who died earlier this year, we called him loser. I've vowed for much of my life not to be like the loser. I think I am the loser, or a loser. I have a lot of financial worries. I'm worried about the fact that I can't afford counselling. I got my shifts for january in yesterday, there are only two shifts available this month, that means I'll be paid £81, if one is to deduce tax. I spent a shitload today, and I think a bit of it was *unnecessary*. I was so focussed, so fixated on wanting an xbox, that I overwent on my expenditures. I bought an xbox, that's all good and well, but it didn't have a modem. In order to play with my friends, I need a modem, a connection to xbox live, the right games (i've only got two games sofar), and a keyboard and headset to communicate with. I need to factor in the fact that:
- I don't earn very much
- Getting a job full time looks unlikely to happen overnight, or soon.
- I have counselling fees
- I need fees to live: e.g. oyster card, going out, possible dates with girls? It's a bastard of a situation. I hate that work is so hard to find. It makes me think: am I not looking hard enough? when I get worried I don't do anything at all.
Here's to taking a deep breath, and diving in.
I shouldn't hide my sorrows in xbox gaming.
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