Problems and predicaments

Good afternoon, I do not know whether it is still the alcohol in my bloodstream, or the recent computer setback, but I am not feeling as up to things as I usually am this morning. Despite this, I woke up with no voices in my head, which I suppose is nice. But its also lonely not to have a mentor or someone you could listen to. I am doing mostly small tasks, I seem to have anhilated some of the tasks, I did a big job search and set up some new RSS feeds on Guardian Jobs, I seem to have sorted out almost all of my computer applications through a linux equivalent, and I have even made a new music playlist. That was the one thing that was hanging over my head. Having such an amount of stress has reminded me that many of my friends in senior positions in the real world with their graduate jobs probably cope with that shit all the time, and I should not expect it will always be as simple as it is now. Today my day plan seems fairly determinate. Until about 3:30 I'm going to do little tasks and maybe an application or mostly job searching. Then I'm off to counselling, then gym and then meet with my neighbours who are often in the studio facing the gym. Now doesn't that sound fun. Tomorrow I have work and probably I'll train after work, my next couple of days sound so determined and fixed. I should also keep in mind that I have about 1.5 weeks to finish a damed book review that I'm only 1/3rd through (fuck). Even though yesterday was a very good and productive day, I still feel the need to pick up and shoot off more applications and keep as busy as fuck. Seeing my successful friends last weekend has made me incredibly green with envy about my job situation and I need to buck up and get on. Yes, I had a couple of setbacks, namely my piano teacher dying and my computer crashing. Is it cruel to say that the computer crashing is more of a hindrance to me than my teacher's death? With the latter, I cannot do anything about it. It's more a realisation that my world has gotten smaller, a realisation that one of the most influential people in my life has gone, and it's only through people like me will his memory, his life and his knowledge will live on. I'm reminded of a distinction I heard, between a problem and a predicament. A problem has solutions, a predicament requires a reflection or change in mindset. A predicament requires adaptation, acceptance. Some things I just cannot change but must accept, or work in spite of it. Other things require change. I guess for me, my life is basically a proper understanding of which is which. The death of my teacher has been incredibly rationalised in my head. I feel its wrong in a way. Or maybe I'll have some Henry James moment of grief.