I've sent off two job applications. I feel like my head is overheating a bit. When I do things I feel my anxiety and worry level goes up, and then I don't behave in as productive a manner as desired. I planned to call the photographer today. I'm actually nervous. This guy could be some pervy photographer who wants to suck me off, or wants me to suck him off or has some other combination which involves a guy sucking off another guy. Although he does have a commissioned photoshoot (erotica) with a royal learned society. So he's probably a bit legit.
Anyhoo, on to other thoughts: I've sent of two applications and one of them didn't ask for a covering letter. That's weird. Another thing that throws me off a bit is how much I've got this week. It's a bit much, and as such, I've not got a chance to do the small tasks this week (because I've done them from last week!). Most of the tasks are high anxiety. I guess there's a price to pay for taking off 4-6 days due to holidays and a backlog is exactly the issue. Slow and steady wins the race they say. I'll need to slowly get all my tasks done.
Something else is on my mind. This might sound really stupid but there's another season of skins on channel 4. I bloody love that series. There are so many reasons why I love skins. I was a teenager once, and I am an adult with issues. For those two reasons alone I find it a fascinating show. I didn't have much of a fun teenaged life compared to those skins people but I do relate to how shit they find their lives. If I had shit going on at that young an age my life would have ended up in a very different place. It makes me think of Antonia's daughter. I feel guilty, in part responsible for her situation. If I stepped up and chose to be her dad and stayed with Antonia, maybe I'd be able to give her a good or at least better chance in life than she has now. Being an uncle and having contact with kids since I did my masters has given me a perspective about children, a perspective which makes me worry about the young and worry about 'losing' them to crime or social decay or destruction.
The innocent children do not deserve the things that so often happen to them. Another conflicting and worrying thing about the Skins season that's upcoming is that there is invariably likely going to be more sex and drugs and tantalising action. That's a bit fucked up for a 16-18 year old age group. Maybe for a bit older but sexualising kids at an increasingly younger age (there is this really sexy trailer on channel 4 at the moment where the skins cast are basically naked) doesn't speak well on society. Skins is like a moralising tale (through immorality and the natural youthful debauchery) mixed with real life. I also used to live in Bristol so I feel really nostalgiac about the city, it reminds me of my girlfriend, my undergrad days and I guess who I used to be.
I've probably blogged a lot this day. I've got lots of thoughts and feelings to share. I still have the pet theory that if you let it out emotionally then you can be free of such thoughts and feelings. Maybe now I can get back to my schedule, or maybe I'm just looking for a reason to not get back to it!
My anxiety level is a bit high today for a sunday. It's not great.
Anyhoo, on to other thoughts: I've sent of two applications and one of them didn't ask for a covering letter. That's weird. Another thing that throws me off a bit is how much I've got this week. It's a bit much, and as such, I've not got a chance to do the small tasks this week (because I've done them from last week!). Most of the tasks are high anxiety. I guess there's a price to pay for taking off 4-6 days due to holidays and a backlog is exactly the issue. Slow and steady wins the race they say. I'll need to slowly get all my tasks done.
Something else is on my mind. This might sound really stupid but there's another season of skins on channel 4. I bloody love that series. There are so many reasons why I love skins. I was a teenager once, and I am an adult with issues. For those two reasons alone I find it a fascinating show. I didn't have much of a fun teenaged life compared to those skins people but I do relate to how shit they find their lives. If I had shit going on at that young an age my life would have ended up in a very different place. It makes me think of Antonia's daughter. I feel guilty, in part responsible for her situation. If I stepped up and chose to be her dad and stayed with Antonia, maybe I'd be able to give her a good or at least better chance in life than she has now. Being an uncle and having contact with kids since I did my masters has given me a perspective about children, a perspective which makes me worry about the young and worry about 'losing' them to crime or social decay or destruction.
The innocent children do not deserve the things that so often happen to them. Another conflicting and worrying thing about the Skins season that's upcoming is that there is invariably likely going to be more sex and drugs and tantalising action. That's a bit fucked up for a 16-18 year old age group. Maybe for a bit older but sexualising kids at an increasingly younger age (there is this really sexy trailer on channel 4 at the moment where the skins cast are basically naked) doesn't speak well on society. Skins is like a moralising tale (through immorality and the natural youthful debauchery) mixed with real life. I also used to live in Bristol so I feel really nostalgiac about the city, it reminds me of my girlfriend, my undergrad days and I guess who I used to be.
I've probably blogged a lot this day. I've got lots of thoughts and feelings to share. I still have the pet theory that if you let it out emotionally then you can be free of such thoughts and feelings. Maybe now I can get back to my schedule, or maybe I'm just looking for a reason to not get back to it!
My anxiety level is a bit high today for a sunday. It's not great.
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