It would be a lie to say that the past few weeks have been bad. I've felt a slow and steady lift in my mood. I'm not 'depressed' in the conventional sense. I feel a distinct sense of avoiding writing in this blog. I think because the action itself seems an effort; that action being the activity of introspection and stock taking.
I've kept busy these weeks, and past few days. Weekends seem to have regained their meaning as days of rest. I've discovered my limitations of reaching a maximally comfortable rate of activity after which my brain slows down and loses its ability to concentrate. I'm turning 'normal' again. I quite like it.
This weekend I got a tutoring commission to mark two essays, I charged £30. I got it done in about 4-5 hours and got paid swiftly. I expect the money in paypal any day now. I've sent off 5 job applications today which is a fairly positive achievement, considering that I felt very lethargic and exausted mentally when I was at REED. It doesn't help that some of the people depress me; there's a guy who doesn't know english, a guy who was born here but failed a city & guilds level 1 literacy test; a guy who is too small to admit he doesn't know something, and writes in CVs that he 'has experience with delegating' because the person specification wanted that, and then when asked to give an example he couldn't think of one; nor could he define delegate. He was a faker.
There is the girl who is an engaged cheating slut. The girl who makes jeremy kyle sound like radio 4, numerous fat girls with very dirty mouths and a whole lot of cockney geezers and rood bois. While I do attempt to sound out the noises outside of my head with the one inside that is pushing me forward; I really feel quite the drain, and enter a trance like state in order to power through the difficulties. It works to some degree.
This week I've felt that my job hunt has gone up a notch; its gotten more serious; more intense, and in myself I have matured and changed as a person as a result of this upping of the game. I've got a good feeling about the job that I applied to on friday; I was expecting to hear back but I did not hear back from them today. I got an interview invitation to a political lobbying group for next week (YAY!) and I see this as the start. The REED guy said he's got a vacancy for a retail type role in one of the london museums and as each day passes; I get closer to knowing my PhD fate.
In short, my positives are: 5 job applications, 1 interview invite, £30 wired into my account soon, many more jobs to apply to and 4.91 miles jogged on saturday.
I ought to contact the police volunteer officer before wednesday or such to inform her of when I may go in. Im very happy of the positives that have come lately. I just wish I had more focus on my weight, namely, that I lost more of it. I'm sorry to end on such a bad note but if I had the slimmer body, i'll be that much happier
I've kept busy these weeks, and past few days. Weekends seem to have regained their meaning as days of rest. I've discovered my limitations of reaching a maximally comfortable rate of activity after which my brain slows down and loses its ability to concentrate. I'm turning 'normal' again. I quite like it.
This weekend I got a tutoring commission to mark two essays, I charged £30. I got it done in about 4-5 hours and got paid swiftly. I expect the money in paypal any day now. I've sent off 5 job applications today which is a fairly positive achievement, considering that I felt very lethargic and exausted mentally when I was at REED. It doesn't help that some of the people depress me; there's a guy who doesn't know english, a guy who was born here but failed a city & guilds level 1 literacy test; a guy who is too small to admit he doesn't know something, and writes in CVs that he 'has experience with delegating' because the person specification wanted that, and then when asked to give an example he couldn't think of one; nor could he define delegate. He was a faker.
There is the girl who is an engaged cheating slut. The girl who makes jeremy kyle sound like radio 4, numerous fat girls with very dirty mouths and a whole lot of cockney geezers and rood bois. While I do attempt to sound out the noises outside of my head with the one inside that is pushing me forward; I really feel quite the drain, and enter a trance like state in order to power through the difficulties. It works to some degree.
This week I've felt that my job hunt has gone up a notch; its gotten more serious; more intense, and in myself I have matured and changed as a person as a result of this upping of the game. I've got a good feeling about the job that I applied to on friday; I was expecting to hear back but I did not hear back from them today. I got an interview invitation to a political lobbying group for next week (YAY!) and I see this as the start. The REED guy said he's got a vacancy for a retail type role in one of the london museums and as each day passes; I get closer to knowing my PhD fate.
In short, my positives are: 5 job applications, 1 interview invite, £30 wired into my account soon, many more jobs to apply to and 4.91 miles jogged on saturday.
I ought to contact the police volunteer officer before wednesday or such to inform her of when I may go in. Im very happy of the positives that have come lately. I just wish I had more focus on my weight, namely, that I lost more of it. I'm sorry to end on such a bad note but if I had the slimmer body, i'll be that much happier
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