I hate starting a post with moaning about how I haven't posted in a while. One of the guys I knew in the ADC used to be like that and at the same time used to boast about his blog. I think the general rule of thumb is this: I post not so much because I'm busy with other things. Or I post when I procrastinate. It almost sounds like a lot of posts is an indivacor of poor productivity. I suppose the converse is true. I don't know if modus tollens applies in this case.
I went to the dentist today. Ouch. They said that they are going to refer me to the hospital to get my wisdom tooth removed. My HC1 exemption form reduced my dentist fee from £57 to £40. Good old NHS with their free healthcare. The sexy asian dentist gave me a tooth polish and the flouride remnants are over my shirt, despite the bib. A lot of blood came out of my mouth, and calcified plaque deposits. When the plaque has escaped my mouth, my teeth are a lot smaller. That's a bit scary methinks.
On the waiting room wait, I was called by a guy from REED; he told me of a job vacancy I could get into. It looks good if I'm honest. I might go for it. Who knows, maybe this is my step into a better world. It's minimum wage, and based in east london. Despite that, it is a job and it is involving an arts gallery/centre or something. It looks good.
Today, I also have my first session of volunteering on the front counter. I'm going to the police station near where my old school used to be. As such it is a place of much great warmth and memories of particular fondness. So I am in a touch of a hurry and decided to write this blog post before I started on my covering letter.
Today I feel a little self conscious about my body. I chatted to Antonia last night. Thus the 'trigger poem'. I fell asleep listening to glenn gould (at least, I think I was asleep I could not tell) and woke up to beethoven, or was it bach?
After 3pm I will have achieved about 3 tasks: dentist, volunteering and applying for a job that I may have a genuine chance in. Not bad for a day's 'work'. If I'm honest, life gives me lots of challenges but in recent weeks I've given myself a lot of positive things too. This week I applied to like 13 jobs, last week about 16 jobs; that makes 29 jobs overall in the past 13-14 or so days at least. That gives me 29 things to be proud of. Sure I got rejections; sure, I hate cold calling. But I do feel that I am making positive steps in my life and I feel like if I keep on this path perhaps I will have a little more to be proud of.
Things like triggers and my weight problems are still things that challenge and upset me, and they are issues I still need to work on. But I've definately rediscovered a positive side of me, a part of the 'old me' that i want to be present in the 'new' me.
I've got a lot set for myself this weekend; but I'll survive, and hopefully survive quite well.
Here's to a better future, here's to a better life
Here's to a better me.
Conatus
I went to the dentist today. Ouch. They said that they are going to refer me to the hospital to get my wisdom tooth removed. My HC1 exemption form reduced my dentist fee from £57 to £40. Good old NHS with their free healthcare. The sexy asian dentist gave me a tooth polish and the flouride remnants are over my shirt, despite the bib. A lot of blood came out of my mouth, and calcified plaque deposits. When the plaque has escaped my mouth, my teeth are a lot smaller. That's a bit scary methinks.
On the waiting room wait, I was called by a guy from REED; he told me of a job vacancy I could get into. It looks good if I'm honest. I might go for it. Who knows, maybe this is my step into a better world. It's minimum wage, and based in east london. Despite that, it is a job and it is involving an arts gallery/centre or something. It looks good.
Today, I also have my first session of volunteering on the front counter. I'm going to the police station near where my old school used to be. As such it is a place of much great warmth and memories of particular fondness. So I am in a touch of a hurry and decided to write this blog post before I started on my covering letter.
Today I feel a little self conscious about my body. I chatted to Antonia last night. Thus the 'trigger poem'. I fell asleep listening to glenn gould (at least, I think I was asleep I could not tell) and woke up to beethoven, or was it bach?
After 3pm I will have achieved about 3 tasks: dentist, volunteering and applying for a job that I may have a genuine chance in. Not bad for a day's 'work'. If I'm honest, life gives me lots of challenges but in recent weeks I've given myself a lot of positive things too. This week I applied to like 13 jobs, last week about 16 jobs; that makes 29 jobs overall in the past 13-14 or so days at least. That gives me 29 things to be proud of. Sure I got rejections; sure, I hate cold calling. But I do feel that I am making positive steps in my life and I feel like if I keep on this path perhaps I will have a little more to be proud of.
Things like triggers and my weight problems are still things that challenge and upset me, and they are issues I still need to work on. But I've definately rediscovered a positive side of me, a part of the 'old me' that i want to be present in the 'new' me.
I've got a lot set for myself this weekend; but I'll survive, and hopefully survive quite well.
Here's to a better future, here's to a better life
Here's to a better me.
Conatus
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