Training in the gym helps to train me for life, but life is a much harder workout.

Dear Diary, it's nearly 3am and i am back home from a night out. I almost sound like a real person living this experience. I went to the Camden Crawl on Saturday morning/afternoon and we went to see a few performances. It was pretty diverse and we did get to see a lot of acts which were high quality. At the end of the night I started to feel worn down and anxious, but I tried not to let on. There was a fight almost about to break out when I was watching Saint Etienne at Koko, and there were some really drunk girls who were falling over, being in such close proximity to me made me feel uncomfortable, and also made my vigilant self keep an eye on them in case anything kicked off that I'd need to get involved with, and not on the music. Camden is a place that has a lot of sorts of people, many nice people, many diverse people, but also lots of people who make me feel uncomfortable. For what its worth the subculture people don't bother me at all, its the ticket touters, shifty looking youths with poor english and speaking aggressively, tramps who tell people to fuck off after they ask for money and people trying to do a hard sell. Being in public places is a big drain on me, and having my friend there helped a bit. However I felt that after 11-12 hours walking about camden, I reached my limit halfway through the DJ kennedy gig at the barfly. All in all, I had a great evening, but I feel so incredibly tired and I also think that's giving me a bit of a low feeling right now. I felt myself pushing a limit later in the evening when it came to dealing with my anxieties, it was like when I'm on the treadmill and I'm circling the point of failure for my muscles, I am edging closer and closer but I know in the gym I can stop and walk away. In a concert venue there is a crowd of 1000 or more directly in front and are difficult to navigate, not least to mention the social obligation that my friend is also there. Training in the gym helps to train me for life, but life is a much harder workout. I feel too tired to even wank, although an orgasm would be nice.