I should be so lucky

Dear Diary,

I'm pretty damned tired. I worked for just under 10 hours today, and not including travelling 1 hour and another hour back, I guess that's basically half a day, well, all of my day if you include sleeping, eating and waking up.

I could say a lot of things about my shift today, the feelings I went through, the funny revelations, the realisation that I kind of fancy a colleague. I could also mention how the clients were a bit cunty. Its over. I think the greatest achievement of my day is that I didn't purge at work, I got really close to doing it. Another great achievement of my day is that I didn't do anything 'wrong', purging included in that construal, but also the clients were annoying and I could have lost the plot easily. I dealt with the pressure and stress I think in a good way, that's not to say it wasn't a fucking nightmare.

I've counted my calories today, I've also made an estimate of a fajita type thing that I bought. They didn't have the burrito that I love, but the fajita was a nice replacement. I probably overestimated my calorific intake, but even still it is not very much. Between Tuesday and Wednesday (I was going to say 'yesterday and today', but 'today' in my mind is yesterday now), I lost over 1lb according to the records. That's a kind of progress I can easily live with. A change of diet will help me vastly. I had a nice pasta supper, quorn mince (thanks mum) mixed with passata and penne makes for a lovely evening meal. Low in cals (so evening carbs isn't too much of an issue), and fills me right up. There's enough for a good substantial breakfast tomorrow. I had an extended breakfast in anticipation of this long day. I think the tuna fed me well.

If I am able to lose a 1lb so quickly, I can hopefully build on said progress and go down to 225lbs by the end of the week. Who knows, I might even go down to 220 by the end of the month. I should be so lucky. That old cliche saying comes to mind: don't count your chickens before they hatch. My life may be overall shit, but the one success I can cling on to with desparation is my weight loss. I live under the illusion that weight loss will change me as a person. Perhaps that's my concession to mia.