Moving on and getting on

Dear Diary, Something yesterday gave me a big shock to my system. I think the largeness of decisions or a feeling is determined not by that contingent moment, but how it is looked upon in the future or impacted upon the future. I'm going to try and take the diet seriously, in addition to the excercise (which I'm already working on), this may lead to a fitter, better me. This is going to take some effort and it will be hard. I am terribly used to taking things too easily, especially since last week. As such, I made myself get into the uncomfortable places yesterday, at the gym I really fucked my body over in various ways, but not enough to cause injury (I hope), but enough to feel that serious lung pain and get my heartrate up for extended periods of time that I am not used to. In addition, I applied to two jobs I would normally think I would have no chance at, and I even made an effort customising the CV and doing the covering letter. I also got a new shift this month after emailing quickly yesterday. I think yesterday was good, a post-hangover post-long weekend stupour was avoided. Now I need to keep up the pace. Today I have been catching up on articles, and doing a bit of job searching. I hope to do 4 training sessions this week, maybe 5 if I'm good. Something shocked me over the past few days, I need a shock to my system, a shock to my body and a shock to my mind. I need a shock to force me to up my game, not just in applying to jobs, but also in my diet, my training and my life. I'll try to not repeat myself in posts. I was thinking of not writing as much on this blog until I have different things to say. I got a random email from a website I used to subscribe to (okay I'll say what it was: hot or not) and I uploaded a picture that used shadows to hide my fatness, and i was posing and it was a self taken picture. This sounds so terribly cliche and horrid. Am I still that person? when I saw that picture I barely recognised the person behind that face. But after a few seconds, I did. It's funny how the past hits you like that. I wasn't even thinking about it. In a sense, I've moved on from then. I'm glad to have moved on. I have a lot of shit since then to move on from as well. To make peace with, as it were. There's only one way to move on and that's to get on with it. So that's what I'm going to do now. Chat later :)