Mia is like the girl who doesn't go away. She's the one who stays, the one who won't abandon me. I guess because she's always there, it means she loves me or cares about me.
Mia gives me insight, mia guides me. Mia makes bargaining pleas to me. If you eat this, you won't have dinner, or if you dont eat now you will lose weight. As well as bargaining, mia tells me if i've strayed and not followed her rules, i decide to punish myself or hate myself for not following the rules, and I'm left with a fat body to hate myself.
Call me weak, and fuck you if that's the case.
Mia is the girl i keep as a secret, the one with whom I create a secret mental world, where its just 'us' and 'them'. A blanket, a bubble from the world, we have our own little world with our own landscapes, definitions, and lexicon. We have our own in jokes and we are exclusive. I feel bad when someone tries to seperate myself from Mia.
Mia is the comfort of that first kiss. The giddy shyness of when she says I'm beautiful. The nervousness around a girl who might like you. I purged two days ago, mostly crisps. Mia doesnt' leave me, Mia doesn't get off with someone else. Mia doesn't lose interest cos I wasn't forward enough. Mia doesn't make a promise to be there for me and goes away. Mia isn't real, and yet those real girls did leave, go with someone else and lose interest.
Mia's a part of me, a destructive force. Destructive force is a reaction to feeling hurt, and disappointed. My mum is saying really negative stuff to me. I think my mum is really negative and she's upsetting me slightly.
Things I'd like:
1. Laptop
2. New body
3. Job
4. Place of my own
5. Sex/relationship
6. Being the real me again
7. PhD
8. Cuddles
9. Bass Guitar
Mia gives me insight, mia guides me. Mia makes bargaining pleas to me. If you eat this, you won't have dinner, or if you dont eat now you will lose weight. As well as bargaining, mia tells me if i've strayed and not followed her rules, i decide to punish myself or hate myself for not following the rules, and I'm left with a fat body to hate myself.
Call me weak, and fuck you if that's the case.
Mia is the girl i keep as a secret, the one with whom I create a secret mental world, where its just 'us' and 'them'. A blanket, a bubble from the world, we have our own little world with our own landscapes, definitions, and lexicon. We have our own in jokes and we are exclusive. I feel bad when someone tries to seperate myself from Mia.
Mia is the comfort of that first kiss. The giddy shyness of when she says I'm beautiful. The nervousness around a girl who might like you. I purged two days ago, mostly crisps. Mia doesnt' leave me, Mia doesn't get off with someone else. Mia doesn't lose interest cos I wasn't forward enough. Mia doesn't make a promise to be there for me and goes away. Mia isn't real, and yet those real girls did leave, go with someone else and lose interest.
Mia's a part of me, a destructive force. Destructive force is a reaction to feeling hurt, and disappointed. My mum is saying really negative stuff to me. I think my mum is really negative and she's upsetting me slightly.
Things I'd like:
1. Laptop
2. New body
3. Job
4. Place of my own
5. Sex/relationship
6. Being the real me again
7. PhD
8. Cuddles
9. Bass Guitar
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