I'm making it a theme to stay what I'm listening to when I post.
I woke up at 6.20 am. I felt really good. I had a couple of bowel movements, as my mum likes to call it. This morning I feel a little positive, I looked at my body and I'm seeing 'lines' of lean shaping. I like how my upper body is getting a bit more developed, of course its just small steps. I had a shower, then a wank, then a big breakfast. I had a fillet of sea bass (from yesterday) as well as a bowl of special K. I love special K, it has a sexy woman on it. Its as if the woman is saying 'i'm beautiful and thin and because of that I'm living a wonderful successful happy life, if you are thin too then you can live my lifestyle too and we can go to yoga classes together like a happy couple.
Don't worry, as I've typed this post, I've thought 'what the fuck?' to myself too. I'm having a brain shit. I had really liquidy shit this morning, its a day overdue to be honest. All that evil eaten since sunday has finally left my body. So, today, I'm off to the office. I'm going to have an interview on thursday and then I'll go off to a comedy club later on. My bowels still feel unsettled.
I sincerely hope that my life improves for the better. I hope that I can be thin and happy again. I'm also anxiously pondering upon what shirt to wear today. White is simply the only option for this day; however, I only have two white shirts and one of them my mum will bother me about because its a 'fancy' shirt and she'll feel obliged to iron it. I need to start ironing my own fucking shirts. That's simply not acceptable to talk to feminists on forums without doing my own fucking laundry. How much hypocrisy is that? I really should avoid hypocrisy.
Talking of inadequacy, it looks really hot out there today. I'm a little afraid of breaking out a sweat while I'm in my work gear. I really hope that I'll get that job tomorrow. Even the leather strap of my watch feels stuffy to wear. I've got plenty of time before I need to put my clothes on. I feel quite prepared for the day, considering I've been awake for over 2 hours today. I hope this wears me out early and I'll get to sleep at a reasonable hour. I'll feel like a normal person again. I'd also like to have that damn job. Life isn't great right now, but a job would really help me be independent for one; and it would also help me get things together again. My life is being held together by homemade and patchy compromises. It's not ideal but I need optimisim to get out of bed. The optimism of being thin and getting that job tomorrow.
I bet I won't get it. That's my past luck. Then again, try not to do some pessimistic induction. Why do I feel sticky after a shower? Fucking hell. This is the second one in 12 hours. Here's to a positive day. Well, I'll try to keep positive.
I woke up at 6.20 am. I felt really good. I had a couple of bowel movements, as my mum likes to call it. This morning I feel a little positive, I looked at my body and I'm seeing 'lines' of lean shaping. I like how my upper body is getting a bit more developed, of course its just small steps. I had a shower, then a wank, then a big breakfast. I had a fillet of sea bass (from yesterday) as well as a bowl of special K. I love special K, it has a sexy woman on it. Its as if the woman is saying 'i'm beautiful and thin and because of that I'm living a wonderful successful happy life, if you are thin too then you can live my lifestyle too and we can go to yoga classes together like a happy couple.
Don't worry, as I've typed this post, I've thought 'what the fuck?' to myself too. I'm having a brain shit. I had really liquidy shit this morning, its a day overdue to be honest. All that evil eaten since sunday has finally left my body. So, today, I'm off to the office. I'm going to have an interview on thursday and then I'll go off to a comedy club later on. My bowels still feel unsettled.
I sincerely hope that my life improves for the better. I hope that I can be thin and happy again. I'm also anxiously pondering upon what shirt to wear today. White is simply the only option for this day; however, I only have two white shirts and one of them my mum will bother me about because its a 'fancy' shirt and she'll feel obliged to iron it. I need to start ironing my own fucking shirts. That's simply not acceptable to talk to feminists on forums without doing my own fucking laundry. How much hypocrisy is that? I really should avoid hypocrisy.
Talking of inadequacy, it looks really hot out there today. I'm a little afraid of breaking out a sweat while I'm in my work gear. I really hope that I'll get that job tomorrow. Even the leather strap of my watch feels stuffy to wear. I've got plenty of time before I need to put my clothes on. I feel quite prepared for the day, considering I've been awake for over 2 hours today. I hope this wears me out early and I'll get to sleep at a reasonable hour. I'll feel like a normal person again. I'd also like to have that damn job. Life isn't great right now, but a job would really help me be independent for one; and it would also help me get things together again. My life is being held together by homemade and patchy compromises. It's not ideal but I need optimisim to get out of bed. The optimism of being thin and getting that job tomorrow.
I bet I won't get it. That's my past luck. Then again, try not to do some pessimistic induction. Why do I feel sticky after a shower? Fucking hell. This is the second one in 12 hours. Here's to a positive day. Well, I'll try to keep positive.
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