Today, I got up at a late 10am. I managed to get out of bed earlier than usual at a nice 10:30. Most of the tasks today were short, and I got almost all of them done (and then some) in the space of 2 hours. I spent some of the later time at midday watching the day today on youtube, and then a sudden fatigue consumed me. I fell asleep for 3 or so hours. I then got up, hoping my parents didnt find me asleep. I felt guilty that I fell asleep, more so because I would find it difficult to sleep tonight.
I allowed myself the rest of the day off, however, from 6:30pm I decided to start ripping all the cds from my dad's collection. Throughout the day, since the snooze, I felt a headache, and later on, this weird euphoria, a feeling 'as if it was christmas'. Im not sure how to explain this feeling, but i felt like a mindset comparable to the lovelyness of christmas and seeing everyone again, a sense of timeless joy and abundance of food and happiness that comes during the holiday period. After a few hours of scanning CDs, this feeling had worn off and now I feel a bit low.
I miss my ex, I miss all the different people she had been in the past that made her the person I knew; the precocious teenager, the partying early adult, the new age goddess she later became, and the caring mother. I miss her. I love her, I always will. I also feel worthless and terribly isolated. I feel like everyone is having a successful time in life and here I am, burnt out and I need to justify my existence.
Am I allowed to feel sad? I'll get stuff done tomorrow.
I miss having someone to properly talk to. Someone please love me.
I allowed myself the rest of the day off, however, from 6:30pm I decided to start ripping all the cds from my dad's collection. Throughout the day, since the snooze, I felt a headache, and later on, this weird euphoria, a feeling 'as if it was christmas'. Im not sure how to explain this feeling, but i felt like a mindset comparable to the lovelyness of christmas and seeing everyone again, a sense of timeless joy and abundance of food and happiness that comes during the holiday period. After a few hours of scanning CDs, this feeling had worn off and now I feel a bit low.
I miss my ex, I miss all the different people she had been in the past that made her the person I knew; the precocious teenager, the partying early adult, the new age goddess she later became, and the caring mother. I miss her. I love her, I always will. I also feel worthless and terribly isolated. I feel like everyone is having a successful time in life and here I am, burnt out and I need to justify my existence.
Am I allowed to feel sad? I'll get stuff done tomorrow.
I miss having someone to properly talk to. Someone please love me.
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