Today looks bright, sunny. This is unexpected compared to previous days, but welcome. I woke up early, but feeling it was late. I went on with my day as normal until I tried making a blog post. Firefox froze as I opened the application that I use to write blogs. I was annoyed by this because the window I was using to send a job application also froze. I let this make me feel down so I spent the next two hours in bed.
What I was doing in bed you probably won't think will make any sense. I was imagining, in my mind I imagined a world, but a world that didn't have some kind of symbolic significance to something obviously relating to a memory (this probably isn't possible, but I didn't want to have an obvious 'reference' to a place). So, I remembered a completely different world. Usually the environments I imagine in my head are places directly from the past, or fantasy buildings and environments taken from anime, or inspired by the Jesuit school. I imagined a world of stones, if you think its impossible to make a completely original place without reference to a memory or thought then you might say it was a permutation of childhood memories in Brighton beach, but not to say those memories are particularly significant to me (except to provide that image). I manipulated the world and used the stones to make lava, which was nice to think about for two hours.
Really, I suppose I was trying not to think about dark thoughts, or the past. So I tried to imagine something completely different. There were no people in this world, although there were stone giants but I think they were soulless.
So now I'm back working on my schedule. I've sent off a job application and now I'm preparing a covering letter for another. I may or may not go to the gmy later, depending on my mood. I should go though, my stupour is pretty bad today. I've not had a stupour in a long time. I even had a midday wank. I never wank during the day. I've got work tomorrow, then counselling. I'm debating to myself whether I should go to a PhD opening day after counselling but I'm not sure if I'll be too tired, or if I want to go to the gym instead. Thinking about PhDs again upsets me a little.
Back to work, that John Zorn track has finished.
What I was doing in bed you probably won't think will make any sense. I was imagining, in my mind I imagined a world, but a world that didn't have some kind of symbolic significance to something obviously relating to a memory (this probably isn't possible, but I didn't want to have an obvious 'reference' to a place). So, I remembered a completely different world. Usually the environments I imagine in my head are places directly from the past, or fantasy buildings and environments taken from anime, or inspired by the Jesuit school. I imagined a world of stones, if you think its impossible to make a completely original place without reference to a memory or thought then you might say it was a permutation of childhood memories in Brighton beach, but not to say those memories are particularly significant to me (except to provide that image). I manipulated the world and used the stones to make lava, which was nice to think about for two hours.
Really, I suppose I was trying not to think about dark thoughts, or the past. So I tried to imagine something completely different. There were no people in this world, although there were stone giants but I think they were soulless.
So now I'm back working on my schedule. I've sent off a job application and now I'm preparing a covering letter for another. I may or may not go to the gmy later, depending on my mood. I should go though, my stupour is pretty bad today. I've not had a stupour in a long time. I even had a midday wank. I never wank during the day. I've got work tomorrow, then counselling. I'm debating to myself whether I should go to a PhD opening day after counselling but I'm not sure if I'll be too tired, or if I want to go to the gym instead. Thinking about PhDs again upsets me a little.
Back to work, that John Zorn track has finished.
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