Good morning,
I think its annoying when people use excalmation marks too much in their sentences, normally it is a way to convey some kind of humour or sarcasm among the British. Also, it tries to convey a sense of excitement and exuberance. Well, fuck them. I don't know why I felt the need to say that.
Counselling was odd yesterday, the counsellor asked me to talk about my family. I told her it was a tired cliche to ask about my family, as if there is some kind of dark secret I'm holding or hidden history of child sexual abuse. Why is that the example I always think of: some uncle raping me, in fact, my uncles are lovely people. My dad and mum don't have sisters so I don't have 'aunts' except for their spouses. I weanted to talk about how these girls are making me feel anxious and how I am in a new emotional situation dealing with the opposite sex and flirting, and she asks me about my family. Maybe she thinks I keep bringing up the same issues, which is fair. My counsellor is very cute, I find it difficult to look her in the eyes for that reason, I try to look at her nose instead, it looks like I'm looking here at the eyes that way.
The weather is lovely and bright today. It reminds me of the happiness that people (and myself) feels during the warmer days. It reminds me of how things are so much more casual during the summer, people wear more casual clothes and school finishes early, the summer reminds people of holidays and holidays means a holiday mindset. I suppose you could say that I'm working on my summer body.
No one is in the house at the moment so as I got up I looked in the mirror at my body, I see small changes. Rome wasn't built in a day, as they say; so changes sudden must happen gradual. I do believe that the gym is getting me a better body, I could do the warmup excercise with a lesser amount of strain, I did reach failure 'early' during training, but perhaps thats a combination of higher weights + less rest time and working out the day before. I'm starting to get used to the gym, although that said, the pain doesn't stop. I really blasted my abs yesterday, so much so that I could barely move them after I finished my crunches. I think that's a good sign. Those abs are dgoing to experience a whole lot of pain before things get good.
So I'm thinking about asking dobby out, and I'm also thinking about meeting up with the 19 year old. One's a recipe for destruction and possible sex, the other is an oppurtunity to share with a person that I really like and whose company I enjoy a great deal. I'm at the crossroads between nice guy-ery and bastardry.
Lets get on with the day, many tasks ahead. If I'm good I might go to the gym.
I think its annoying when people use excalmation marks too much in their sentences, normally it is a way to convey some kind of humour or sarcasm among the British. Also, it tries to convey a sense of excitement and exuberance. Well, fuck them. I don't know why I felt the need to say that.
Counselling was odd yesterday, the counsellor asked me to talk about my family. I told her it was a tired cliche to ask about my family, as if there is some kind of dark secret I'm holding or hidden history of child sexual abuse. Why is that the example I always think of: some uncle raping me, in fact, my uncles are lovely people. My dad and mum don't have sisters so I don't have 'aunts' except for their spouses. I weanted to talk about how these girls are making me feel anxious and how I am in a new emotional situation dealing with the opposite sex and flirting, and she asks me about my family. Maybe she thinks I keep bringing up the same issues, which is fair. My counsellor is very cute, I find it difficult to look her in the eyes for that reason, I try to look at her nose instead, it looks like I'm looking here at the eyes that way.
The weather is lovely and bright today. It reminds me of the happiness that people (and myself) feels during the warmer days. It reminds me of how things are so much more casual during the summer, people wear more casual clothes and school finishes early, the summer reminds people of holidays and holidays means a holiday mindset. I suppose you could say that I'm working on my summer body.
No one is in the house at the moment so as I got up I looked in the mirror at my body, I see small changes. Rome wasn't built in a day, as they say; so changes sudden must happen gradual. I do believe that the gym is getting me a better body, I could do the warmup excercise with a lesser amount of strain, I did reach failure 'early' during training, but perhaps thats a combination of higher weights + less rest time and working out the day before. I'm starting to get used to the gym, although that said, the pain doesn't stop. I really blasted my abs yesterday, so much so that I could barely move them after I finished my crunches. I think that's a good sign. Those abs are dgoing to experience a whole lot of pain before things get good.
So I'm thinking about asking dobby out, and I'm also thinking about meeting up with the 19 year old. One's a recipe for destruction and possible sex, the other is an oppurtunity to share with a person that I really like and whose company I enjoy a great deal. I'm at the crossroads between nice guy-ery and bastardry.
Lets get on with the day, many tasks ahead. If I'm good I might go to the gym.
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