Wednesday, March 30, 2011

morning gym hangover ("Silence is not golden for me, its poisonous")

Good morning,

I thought I'd write a post because I have no one to talk to. Well, today is another day, I can choose to make of it what I will. I'm off to work in a few minutes for a 6 hour shift, then I'll head off probably to the gym. As I woke up today I distinctly felt a few sores around my body, most notably around my thighs (upper and lower sides) and around my knees. I did a bit of arm work yesterday and for some reason I found ab work especially painful. I normally aim these days to go for 2x sets of a 16x reps, but I barely managed 2x10 with many of the excercises although I did go further on the legs.

If I do go and train today I shall aim for a more relaxed session than yesterday. My first thought this morning was that I shouldn't go and train, but as I later proceeded with the morning ritual I reconsidered and deemed that I might be able to do a light cycle (that sounds like a tron reference, but it is not as cool). I put in some old new tracks into my MP3 player, which pumped me up a bit more yesterday. By the end of my 5k row, I wanted to just do some dips and pull ups without even vothering to count, I was so into my song. After the 5k row, I basically completed and exceeded my session's targets for a good workout, despite not doing so great on some of the machines.

My revelation yesterday (I probably didn't make it explicit) was that I feel deeply insecure about these new girls who are interested in me, because they like me, but they aren't judgmental. I feel that they should be judgmental and not being so is like how people pretend things didn't happen, like when the doctors pretend i dont have an eating problem, or when my family forgotten so easily my suicide attempt. Silence is not golden for me, its poisonous.

Speaking of eating problems, I had a binge last night. I know I know, it undermines my whole fitness effort.

I better get ready for work. Today is an uneventful day, maybe if I get home I'l finish my reading tasks.

No comments: