Right now I feel that I've done enough tasks to fit a day in. Considering that I'm not well today and considering that I'm having issues with the phone line. I've sent off an application, did some job searches and basically caught up with the day. Granted that my room is still in a mess and I haven't shaved today, I think I've achieved a fair amount today.
I feel like writing a blog post now, maybe I could tell an anecdotal story about the past where some moral lesson or introspective discovery comes into the fore, or maybe I could tell a fictional story. Maybe I could tell a story about the distant future.
I need to face something really clear.I'm in a very bad situation. I need to get a proper job that pays well, I desperately need to get back on the ladder of life and advance myself. It seems none of that wants to happen for me. I find it exceptionally aggrivating. Am I doing something wrong? Life isn't so straightforward. You do all the 'right' things like read a lot, learn a lot, develop extracurricular skills and apparently you end up being isolated and eccentric and people cannot understand you because you have developed into something so distant.
Yet if you slack a bit and only care about pleasure you seem to have the aspirations and sympathies of the masses on your side. At the moment I feel like I want to finish the day, just wank or browse the net doing essentially nothing. Alternatively I could toil a little more even though I feel I've passed my point of efficiency. I've passed my fourth workout and there's no point in overdoing it.
In a way that's the issue I've found at conflict between myself and the world. When people ask 'why do you have to do so much?', I am exasperated at such questioning. I am exasperated at their laziness, their sloth and their inability to understand the fundamentality of self improvement. Have we learned nothing from Aeneas and Achilles? We must be like Odysseus in mind and Aeneas in spirit; Achilles in battle and Hector in Magnanimity.
I'm reminded painfully of my alumnus from university. I see them or hear about them on the university website, or I see them on TV, or read about them in Print Media. That's really scary, they are all in diverse yet influential parts of society and here I am using a 3-4 year old computer that's breaking apart and held together mostly by cum and hope.
I feel like some underachieving male schmo from a Judd Apatow movie, I feel like Seth Rogen who has a slight artistic and intellectual sensibility mixed with lowbrow dick jokes and a self hatred probably stemming from the frustration of a lack of social mobility and the impossibility of advancement.
And I'm now known as the quiet one. I laugh at that.
I feel like writing a blog post now, maybe I could tell an anecdotal story about the past where some moral lesson or introspective discovery comes into the fore, or maybe I could tell a fictional story. Maybe I could tell a story about the distant future.
I need to face something really clear.I'm in a very bad situation. I need to get a proper job that pays well, I desperately need to get back on the ladder of life and advance myself. It seems none of that wants to happen for me. I find it exceptionally aggrivating. Am I doing something wrong? Life isn't so straightforward. You do all the 'right' things like read a lot, learn a lot, develop extracurricular skills and apparently you end up being isolated and eccentric and people cannot understand you because you have developed into something so distant.
Yet if you slack a bit and only care about pleasure you seem to have the aspirations and sympathies of the masses on your side. At the moment I feel like I want to finish the day, just wank or browse the net doing essentially nothing. Alternatively I could toil a little more even though I feel I've passed my point of efficiency. I've passed my fourth workout and there's no point in overdoing it.
In a way that's the issue I've found at conflict between myself and the world. When people ask 'why do you have to do so much?', I am exasperated at such questioning. I am exasperated at their laziness, their sloth and their inability to understand the fundamentality of self improvement. Have we learned nothing from Aeneas and Achilles? We must be like Odysseus in mind and Aeneas in spirit; Achilles in battle and Hector in Magnanimity.
I'm reminded painfully of my alumnus from university. I see them or hear about them on the university website, or I see them on TV, or read about them in Print Media. That's really scary, they are all in diverse yet influential parts of society and here I am using a 3-4 year old computer that's breaking apart and held together mostly by cum and hope.
I feel like some underachieving male schmo from a Judd Apatow movie, I feel like Seth Rogen who has a slight artistic and intellectual sensibility mixed with lowbrow dick jokes and a self hatred probably stemming from the frustration of a lack of social mobility and the impossibility of advancement.
And I'm now known as the quiet one. I laugh at that.
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