Tuesday, September 28, 2010

From bad day to worse

Okay.

I'm back from my jog. I relieved some of that anxiety and I came home feeling a little positive, and then I come home to more bad news.

I didn't get in to the thinktank. To sum up what kind of life I lead, I also got some other emails when I got back: a rejection from waterstones, and a reply from an Eating Disorder forum. I look down as some psychogenic gesture of defeat and shame, and I observe that my forearms are quite fat. Everyone probably thinks I'm a loser. I couldn't get into a PhD, can't get into a grad job. Can't even get into a fucking internship. I Fucked up. I've fucked up royally.

I'm going to do something drastic. I'm going to ask myself a question:

1. Do you have £60 in your account?

If yes, then Right now I'm going to book a counselling assessment.

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