Good morning.
It's a cloudy day, and summer is distinctly a distant memory. I'm starting to feel upset. I feel upset for various reasons. It just took one thing, but then everything else piles up to remind me why I should feel shit. Someone at the job centre ridiculed my disability, they apologised when I told them, but the damage was already done. I didn't realise that it upset me until I was on the way home sitting on the bus.
I feel incredibly powerless. I'm an intern for a shitty charity. I'm losing control of my life. I'm losing control of my weight. My mum's constantly nagging me. I feel locked in mediocrity. I thought that I could be something more. I feel like the answer to the question no one asked, or cares about. Mia's influence grows on me.
I feel incredibly isolated, and I feel like a freak. I'm an outcast, the shame of my university course cohort, and I'm a failure as a human being, as my friend used to say. How is Conatus going to get out of this pickle? I don't know. I think that after thursday (when I get my JSA paid in) I'm going to book the assessment appointment with the counselling people. In the comfort of my own room I can cry.
I have lots of tasks and things to tidy up in front of me. I guess I shall attend to them now. This month was very quick.
It's a cloudy day, and summer is distinctly a distant memory. I'm starting to feel upset. I feel upset for various reasons. It just took one thing, but then everything else piles up to remind me why I should feel shit. Someone at the job centre ridiculed my disability, they apologised when I told them, but the damage was already done. I didn't realise that it upset me until I was on the way home sitting on the bus.
I feel incredibly powerless. I'm an intern for a shitty charity. I'm losing control of my life. I'm losing control of my weight. My mum's constantly nagging me. I feel locked in mediocrity. I thought that I could be something more. I feel like the answer to the question no one asked, or cares about. Mia's influence grows on me.
I feel incredibly isolated, and I feel like a freak. I'm an outcast, the shame of my university course cohort, and I'm a failure as a human being, as my friend used to say. How is Conatus going to get out of this pickle? I don't know. I think that after thursday (when I get my JSA paid in) I'm going to book the assessment appointment with the counselling people. In the comfort of my own room I can cry.
I have lots of tasks and things to tidy up in front of me. I guess I shall attend to them now. This month was very quick.
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