There's something about listening to a Reggae track interspersed with indie and dubstep that reminds me of skins, and bristol. It reminds me of the culturally diverse city, it reminds me of melancholy, and it reminds me of being young(er) again. There was a moment when I was on the date, when I was walking down a road and it reminded me of the old flat I used to live in; namely, the road it was on. Big victorian houses probably built and supported by the slave trade. Opulent and quaint, now resided by students and other such individuals of malefice.
The date ended with 'i'm tired' and 'the station is just down here'. No sex. I think that's all I want to say about the date. She was insane too. Maybe it's better this way. I would have liked the sex, please? Oh well, on the plus side there are other positives:
1. I've been paid in today
2. I've been invited to an interview
3. Another date on saturday (I think)
4. I have two more pot noodle cups downstairs. I like pot noodle; its' my latest comfort food (until it loses its appeal). Its also quite low-calorie. 371kcal is low for a meal, right?
Anyway, I'm job searching again, every thursday, I search through w4mp, a really big board of vacancies. I hope to hear back from a few jobs by friday. Anyway, other things I can say are: I hate when people don't use pronouns to talk about things. It's so fucking annoying and shows this level of casuality (not causality) and frivolty which does not convey the gravitas needed for genuine emotional maturity. I also mumbled a lot on my date, yes, like my dad. It's terrible. I minced my words because of insecurity. In a way I am very much my father's son. I hate it.
I also felt distinctly vulnerable on the date. Being on a date, as with an interview, is like putting yourself ont he line, letting someone judge you as a person and submitting to ask for them to give you the golden oppurtunity (be it relationship/sex or a job) and so often they say no. I can't be macho and defensive and say something shitty about them, because it is my fault if I fail. Real life is a matter of engaging with those situations of vulnerability. Purging is like the antithesis of that. It's escape from vulnerability and pretending you are a tough guy; like how ethnic minority guys so often pretend to be tough.
Okay lets tget on with the day. I kind of want another pot noodle too. My cock has shrunk since the date. I didn't even wank last night. I put on an audiobook of st. paul's letter to the romans. (what the fuck?)
The date ended with 'i'm tired' and 'the station is just down here'. No sex. I think that's all I want to say about the date. She was insane too. Maybe it's better this way. I would have liked the sex, please? Oh well, on the plus side there are other positives:
1. I've been paid in today
2. I've been invited to an interview
3. Another date on saturday (I think)
4. I have two more pot noodle cups downstairs. I like pot noodle; its' my latest comfort food (until it loses its appeal). Its also quite low-calorie. 371kcal is low for a meal, right?
Anyway, I'm job searching again, every thursday, I search through w4mp, a really big board of vacancies. I hope to hear back from a few jobs by friday. Anyway, other things I can say are: I hate when people don't use pronouns to talk about things. It's so fucking annoying and shows this level of casuality (not causality) and frivolty which does not convey the gravitas needed for genuine emotional maturity. I also mumbled a lot on my date, yes, like my dad. It's terrible. I minced my words because of insecurity. In a way I am very much my father's son. I hate it.
I also felt distinctly vulnerable on the date. Being on a date, as with an interview, is like putting yourself ont he line, letting someone judge you as a person and submitting to ask for them to give you the golden oppurtunity (be it relationship/sex or a job) and so often they say no. I can't be macho and defensive and say something shitty about them, because it is my fault if I fail. Real life is a matter of engaging with those situations of vulnerability. Purging is like the antithesis of that. It's escape from vulnerability and pretending you are a tough guy; like how ethnic minority guys so often pretend to be tough.
Okay lets tget on with the day. I kind of want another pot noodle too. My cock has shrunk since the date. I didn't even wank last night. I put on an audiobook of st. paul's letter to the romans. (what the fuck?)
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