Inner conflicts

I thought of a post title and came up with 'inner conflicts', i suppose (a meta joke) by virtue of a conflict of titles that I thought using. I don't know what I'm going to write about, but I know that if I decide upon a title the rest will follow. I therefore decided to consider "Inner conflicts".

There's a tension, hypocrisy if you will; of how I live my life.

1. I'm a freethinker within a religious ethnic community
2. I'm always self conscious about other people's spelling and grammar issues where that was my dissertation downfall.
3. Another way of saying this: I'm always conscious of the flaws people have that have deep resounding within my own
4. I'm powerless and yet I'm trying to find myself, independence and inner strength.
5. I'm a self hating pro-mia who runs a supportive depression support group.
6. I strive to uphold the values of the world that I was introduced to; a world of freethinking, enlightenment values and scholarly pursuit
7. Such a world excluded me
8. I'm an outcast and yet my own oppressor
9. I feel as if I am being punished sometimes for being conscientious
10. I feel I am being punished for in some way betraying my cultural sensibilities
11. I'm living a lie: the lie of aspiration and hopes
12. I'm living a lie of security and emotional stability; the problems are never far beneath the surface.

i gotta purge