Moriarty

When I think about Moriarty, as I look at his facebook profile, and I suppose, evaluate his life; he seems pretty comfortable, and almost likeable. He has nice clothes, a girlfriend (apparently), friends, expensive dinners, government funded phd, a better masters degree than me, an office, teaching, and a hot topic in mathematical physics.... I (except for my lovely girlfriend), don't have those things. I am:

poor,
fat
not in a PhD
living in limbo
unemployed
never had a job
losing hopes for realistically getting into academia

I will have to keep going, I'm not there yet. In a way I feel I never will be there...I must journey on. As my day ends, I feel that my best achievment of the day is overcoming the most anxiety-inducing task I have: emailing my supervisors. You might see my life as pathetic, that I am driven to anxiety and am always battling it. I should be battling governments and saving people, but I can't do that if I'm not a doctor...

I envy you Moriarty, but I think, rather, I hope, one day I shall respect you...

I hope I can forgive, and forget, and get on with my life.