As the memories seem to be fading away into some kind of lore, I feel that masturbating over Marie seems, well...unhealthy
I get quite good orgasms from mastuburbating over some seedy pictures I found from her, but I feel that there is an emotional connection that I don't quite understand, as I masturbate to her more I feel more of an emotional security and distance, as if, she never really existed and that she is an image on my screen, a beautiful woman, a Goddess or literary character, like Athene, or Esher Greenwood, beautiful women that I idolise, and yet have no regard or thought concerning their actual existance. Excuse my Cartesian moment, but I feel a weird relationship to those images I just masturbated over, I feel a sense of relief that is well-deserved after my sleepless night of anxiety and despair (regarding PhD failure).
It is nearly 6am in 15 minutes. I guess this is nearly an all-nighter.
I get quite good orgasms from mastuburbating over some seedy pictures I found from her, but I feel that there is an emotional connection that I don't quite understand, as I masturbate to her more I feel more of an emotional security and distance, as if, she never really existed and that she is an image on my screen, a beautiful woman, a Goddess or literary character, like Athene, or Esher Greenwood, beautiful women that I idolise, and yet have no regard or thought concerning their actual existance. Excuse my Cartesian moment, but I feel a weird relationship to those images I just masturbated over, I feel a sense of relief that is well-deserved after my sleepless night of anxiety and despair (regarding PhD failure).
It is nearly 6am in 15 minutes. I guess this is nearly an all-nighter.
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