Today, I am filling out some details for my parents.
Clearing up their address books to put them into electronic format
As I am going through these pages. I found out that:
Clearing up their address books to put them into electronic format
As I am going through these pages. I found out that:
My sister's birthday was on the day after I was incarcerated...
Her 30th birthday
I was going to go
I booked my ticket on the day before to see her, have a good time
It was a good day; I was depressed most of the time, but I was to see my sister
I was also due to meet up with a girl, to do some group work
I've never done group work with a girl before (at the time in 2006)
I also had a crush on that girl in first year, after I saw her in a cute hippy dress and sandals with long flowing curly red hair (much like my own, right now)
I booked the ticket on the internet, happy to go
I was happy to have a start; I thought, today is the day
Today is the day that I would do the work, today is the day I'm going to start working
Today is the day, after so many months, when I make a change
Normally in a day I did nothing
On that day, though (thursday), I made a real effort
I genuinely believed, I was going to read a whole book
Read a book for a sociology assignment
I was going to read the book by the time I review the book for a presentation with this girl
She would come over to my house
It would all be okay
It hurts as I work through these memories
Why must I go through it again and again?
Its not like I have a choice, sometimes
It happens in my dreams; where inner thoughts and desires arise
But now, I write, plowing through the memories
Perhaps, perhaps, in the hope htat if I come to terms with what happened; I can be a better person.
That's all that I want in myself...to be a better person
So I got up that day, positive, I booked the ticket. Great! I'm going to see my sister on her 30th Birthday; on the last birthday she has before she gets married!
Then I get a knock on my door....
I wonder; would Mia have graced my life if I did not have this occur? Or would I have lost weight in the legimate way
Marie used to say; maybe getting ill was inevitable....I try to reject accepting that
I feel so alone right now..i guess I could go through this tired old address book some more to busy myself
Her 30th birthday
I was going to go
I booked my ticket on the day before to see her, have a good time
It was a good day; I was depressed most of the time, but I was to see my sister
I was also due to meet up with a girl, to do some group work
I've never done group work with a girl before (at the time in 2006)
I also had a crush on that girl in first year, after I saw her in a cute hippy dress and sandals with long flowing curly red hair (much like my own, right now)
I booked the ticket on the internet, happy to go
I was happy to have a start; I thought, today is the day
Today is the day that I would do the work, today is the day I'm going to start working
Today is the day, after so many months, when I make a change
Normally in a day I did nothing
On that day, though (thursday), I made a real effort
I genuinely believed, I was going to read a whole book
Read a book for a sociology assignment
I was going to read the book by the time I review the book for a presentation with this girl
She would come over to my house
It would all be okay
It hurts as I work through these memories
Why must I go through it again and again?
Its not like I have a choice, sometimes
It happens in my dreams; where inner thoughts and desires arise
But now, I write, plowing through the memories
Perhaps, perhaps, in the hope htat if I come to terms with what happened; I can be a better person.
That's all that I want in myself...to be a better person
So I got up that day, positive, I booked the ticket. Great! I'm going to see my sister on her 30th Birthday; on the last birthday she has before she gets married!
Then I get a knock on my door....
I wonder; would Mia have graced my life if I did not have this occur? Or would I have lost weight in the legimate way
Marie used to say; maybe getting ill was inevitable....I try to reject accepting that
I feel so alone right now..i guess I could go through this tired old address book some more to busy myself
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