Life after counselling

It's fair to say i've been busy, not my busiest, but busy. It's also fair to say I've been lazy, not my laziest ...welll maybe it is, were it not for also keeping active.

I've been obsessed with a game: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. As many other single men under the age of about 30 are. I won't talk about that, but it's so fun to play and it helps me warm down after a long day. In addition, it counts as downtime which I rarely allow myself to have. I run an audiobook while I play, which makes my time semi-productive. I think that I should combine audiobooks and games more often.

I've been preparing for a graduate assessment day. I've been slowly applying to jobs, I could I should apply to more. I've also been busy at work, crazily busy. It's almost as if I'm working full time. If I think its busy now, when I eventually start full time, I wonder how I will cope. In addition to this, I've been thinking about the extra money I'll have (meagre as it is) now that I've finished counselling. I think that I'll keep up with the gym (there's no question about that), and I'll also get more into badminton. I bought a raquet yesterday, I also bought a headband and a new base layer.

I've been keeping an eye on my diet. I'll be honest: I've had McDonalds 3 times this week. There was a voucher deal on the metro last week and I've totally rinsed it out. I have, despite the Mcdonalds, not gained any weight (yet). My mum has made comments which is making her suspicious about my weight loss. It's ironic actually, when I have an eating disorder, they all think that I'm exercising. When I'm exercising, they think there's something unhealthy going on. I have lots of issues with my parents.

One thing I've learned in counselling is that I often like to downplay certain issues, and the fact that I try to downplay it and frame issues in a specific way indicate something more going on underneath than I realise. I also noticed that I talk too much about myself in this blog. Lately I feel a bit of change in my personality. I feel lots of nice things about my colleagues, a few make me laugh, a few make me smile. I'm really getting on with, and establishing a rapport with them. I've learned many things about my colleagues:

 

• One is also Indian-African (I have Indian-African ancestry), and she loves classical music, her husband is a concert pianist. If she weren't 60 years old and unattractive, or married...I totally would.
• Another colleague is really cute, she's also an ex postgrad and really perky. 
• Another colleague I think I'm flirting with. I have an involuntary chemical sensation in my brain that feels pleasurable and giddy when I am around her. I think that means I like her. Will I do anything about it? No, it's work. Also, she saw me on OKCupid which is *highly* embarrassing (honesty is painful)

I will try to change myself in a few ways. I'm going to write about other people in my blog diary. I'm going to write about people that I care about, that I like, that I don't like. I'm going to try and not write so much about myself. I think that's my problem sometimes. I'm too self involved. So, how's life after counselling? So far, not bad. I'm trying to get involved with life, to put something into it, and ultimately, what I get out ( a sense of satisfaction, joy and the delight of congress with others) will show itself.

This is a procrastinating blog post. I need to get back to my job hhunt now!