Dear Diary,
Today has been a stupour day. I started off well meaning and tried to find the VCR in my loft (to no avail), and that disheartened me, so I proceeded to play elder scrolls for most of the day, interspersed with eating. I have been a busy bee between Thursday and Friday, and so I've spent today resting up. I'm currently catching up on 3-4 days of Google Reader news, and I'll eventually catch up on emails that I've flagged.
Playing that RPG game is a distraction from what's going on in my life. Part of the reason I stopped playing games in the mid 2000s was exactly becaue I have been too busy with life to let games get in the way. In recent months I made a compromise of balancing my time. I'm not being *so* hard on myself today mainly because of being so busy yesterday. I slept for 4 hours after I got home, and then I stayed up until about 6am playing skyrim, and then fell asleep until 10pm. I've not had proper REM/beta sleep for a few days.
Lots of things are going through my mind at once. I'm thinking about 18thC history, decision theory, the role of social mobility, social theory, the frankfurt school and reading about the economic and social conditions that are affecting today: eurozone nightmares, unemployment, and they say that after xmas the job situation is going to be even more dire.
Lots to look forward to (not). No wonder I'm playing so many games. Things are really shit right now. I'm reminded of a quote by adorno, who when talking about the despair composers of the early 20thC dismissed the accusation that their music is too complicated to be understood, it was ignored because its too familiar what reality they are reflecting in their music, or perhaps what music they are reflecting from our reality.
No comments:
Post a Comment