A blog post that isn't about conditionalisation

Dear Diary,

I have so much determination and very little to show for it.

Lets talk about the weekend first. I went to see my family on Saturday. The weather has been exceptionally warm, in a sense it is like a redux of summer, a Rolling Stones 'Last Ever Tour', a chance to catch up on the feeling of summer and do all those things that people wanted to do in the summer but didn't, another (metaphorically speaking) chance to confess your love to that special someone, well, that's kind of how it feels for many people. Some friends of mine were planning a BBQ but I declined, Instead I went to meet up with another friend who was leaving the UK for good. That was sunday. On Sunday, I ended up visiting the British Museum, and then we were hanging out in some bar in Islington. Then I went to chinatown to eat, I couldn't finish the food, I feel bad about that.

This weekend was more about 'doing', than calculated google calendar tasks, that invariably meant that this morning will be very packed of tasks. On Friday I decided to apply for another Masters degree, I've set the cogs in motion and GCal has set various tasks to catch up with that. Today I have done everything that I've set for today (one grad scheme I chose not to apply to as it wasn't relevant to my skill set, another one I put the wrong deadline - FUCK), but I did, however, manage to complete a TeachFIrst application, on the off chance I might get in, maybe I'll train as a primary school teacher. I'm leaving lots of options open.

So I'm blogging right now as an avoidant action. I've set myself a task: Interview preparation. I have three seperate interview prep tasks:

1. Prepare myself for specific questions about social science research methods (ugh, I have to be all academic again!)
2. Prepare myself with being familiar with the organisation, not as hard but just long winded
3. Prepare my route

I'll do 1, go to the gym, then do 2,3 when I'm back home. Now I'm going to touch up on the epistemology and ethics of qualitative research.

So, talking about all of that helps me, because there's another parallel mental process going on, that's a little bit more academic, I'm thinking about conditionalisation