Today I've attended to a few tasks that I've scheduled on my calendar, although I've had to force myself to delay some other (job search) tasks.
I'm going to list what I've kept my attention on today.
1. I have kept a distinct and clear record of all my food input of the day, I've even put in logs of my walking. That may help give me a guide to my calorie cycle
2. I have logged in all of my receipts
3. Related to 2.; I have filed away documents, and tidied up my room a little. A clear desk is a clear mind. Clearing up my documents has also reminded me that I have a few more lingering tasks to do; and other things not to forget (notably: police volunteering)
4. I bought my dad an obligatory father's day present
5. I've done some GCal scheduling to account for my return to the job centre; I've entered my new sign in day, and prepared hours to accomodate for travel to the job centre on mondays. I've also scheduled the hours that I will give to the internship on wednesdays. On a related note, I'll also schedule reading time when I do long travel tasks.
6. I've scheduled a train route, and walking route to the dental hospital for tomorrow. I also prepared my hospital questionnaire.
7. I filled out my job search record for the job centre that goes back up to a month ago.
8. I watched the star trek motion picture; it was on yesterday. What I noticed was that there were exceptionally long scenes of just nothing; mainly just 'scenery'. Slightly overkill.
Lets talk about what's on my mind.
1. Dead family friend. His parents came over today, they were sad. I can't imagine their pain.
2. Awareness of my body. I feel the fat folds and the portrusion of my belly as I sit in various positions.
3. I feel a sense of control today as I attempt to keep a strong sense of order in my life by means of google calendar, and recording my weight loss records, jogging/walking routes (plus calorific costs) and recording food into my system by about.com's calorie service. This sense of order is the positive response to the post anxiety I felt after thorpe park last week which was caused by a number of things. I resolved to deal with them by facing my anxiety and fears.
I'd like to think that this week past has been positive. I had an interview; I started an internship; I followed up my job centre problem and I'll hopefully begin to recieve payments again.
I was hoping that june was a month that I'd get a job. I got two internships and a few interviews. It's an improvement, but I must push on harder if I can get the prize I seek. I'm also in the background, hoping to hear back from Ghent. All of this I deal with as other personal thoughts linger in my mind. Will I ever get my positive self esteem back? Will I be thin again? Will I meet a nice girl? These all seem interrelated to the project of my own personal human flourishing. To think in terms of processes and tasks is the only way I can keep going. I feel that blogging these thoughts are a procrastination. An annoyance of mine that I wish to remedy number two. I wish to shave, as I hate when the facial hair grows too much; and I also wish to have a shower, to clean off the sweatiness of the past couple of days.
I've been putting off the comfort of laying in bed for a couple of hours since my parents have left the house. This is a post today that speaks of a hope, a hope that I will be more one day.
I want to go out on a date, meet girls. I want to be thin and attractive and give off the apeparance of being a lovely and wonderful person. I dont want them to leave me.
I learned from somewhere that it takes 21 days (3 weeks) to learn a habit. I've been acting this way for about 2 days.
I'm going to make a note in GCal to see if this new found sense of order and tranquility within me will last that long.
Wish me luck. I need it.
While you are at it, tell cute girls about me. Or better still, a bisexual guy who is willing to let me have my 'first time'.
You know, I dont talk much about sex in this blog. I should do more, since I think about it a lot. That and philosophy. I read, wank, and listen to music. That and job hunt. I'm a multidimensional person you see :p
Off to shave!
I'm going to list what I've kept my attention on today.
1. I have kept a distinct and clear record of all my food input of the day, I've even put in logs of my walking. That may help give me a guide to my calorie cycle
2. I have logged in all of my receipts
3. Related to 2.; I have filed away documents, and tidied up my room a little. A clear desk is a clear mind. Clearing up my documents has also reminded me that I have a few more lingering tasks to do; and other things not to forget (notably: police volunteering)
4. I bought my dad an obligatory father's day present
5. I've done some GCal scheduling to account for my return to the job centre; I've entered my new sign in day, and prepared hours to accomodate for travel to the job centre on mondays. I've also scheduled the hours that I will give to the internship on wednesdays. On a related note, I'll also schedule reading time when I do long travel tasks.
6. I've scheduled a train route, and walking route to the dental hospital for tomorrow. I also prepared my hospital questionnaire.
7. I filled out my job search record for the job centre that goes back up to a month ago.
8. I watched the star trek motion picture; it was on yesterday. What I noticed was that there were exceptionally long scenes of just nothing; mainly just 'scenery'. Slightly overkill.
Lets talk about what's on my mind.
1. Dead family friend. His parents came over today, they were sad. I can't imagine their pain.
2. Awareness of my body. I feel the fat folds and the portrusion of my belly as I sit in various positions.
3. I feel a sense of control today as I attempt to keep a strong sense of order in my life by means of google calendar, and recording my weight loss records, jogging/walking routes (plus calorific costs) and recording food into my system by about.com's calorie service. This sense of order is the positive response to the post anxiety I felt after thorpe park last week which was caused by a number of things. I resolved to deal with them by facing my anxiety and fears.
I'd like to think that this week past has been positive. I had an interview; I started an internship; I followed up my job centre problem and I'll hopefully begin to recieve payments again.
I was hoping that june was a month that I'd get a job. I got two internships and a few interviews. It's an improvement, but I must push on harder if I can get the prize I seek. I'm also in the background, hoping to hear back from Ghent. All of this I deal with as other personal thoughts linger in my mind. Will I ever get my positive self esteem back? Will I be thin again? Will I meet a nice girl? These all seem interrelated to the project of my own personal human flourishing. To think in terms of processes and tasks is the only way I can keep going. I feel that blogging these thoughts are a procrastination. An annoyance of mine that I wish to remedy number two. I wish to shave, as I hate when the facial hair grows too much; and I also wish to have a shower, to clean off the sweatiness of the past couple of days.
I've been putting off the comfort of laying in bed for a couple of hours since my parents have left the house. This is a post today that speaks of a hope, a hope that I will be more one day.
I want to go out on a date, meet girls. I want to be thin and attractive and give off the apeparance of being a lovely and wonderful person. I dont want them to leave me.
I learned from somewhere that it takes 21 days (3 weeks) to learn a habit. I've been acting this way for about 2 days.
I'm going to make a note in GCal to see if this new found sense of order and tranquility within me will last that long.
Wish me luck. I need it.
While you are at it, tell cute girls about me. Or better still, a bisexual guy who is willing to let me have my 'first time'.
You know, I dont talk much about sex in this blog. I should do more, since I think about it a lot. That and philosophy. I read, wank, and listen to music. That and job hunt. I'm a multidimensional person you see :p
Off to shave!
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