positives

I'm feeling anxious at the moment. But I have forgotten that the purpose of anxiety is to motivate peole to do the things that they need to do. I have forgotten the positive meaning of anxiety. I am anxious because I have an interview for a job that I would really quite like to get in.

I feel like I can taste the offer coming right now. I'm really looking forward to getting that offer. I know that this sounds like a really big and ambitious desire. But I really, really, really, want this job. If I can start earning money then perhaps I can get my life back again. Or, some kind of life.

I am a person of ritual and habit, and those rituals often have a history behind them. In about 15 minutes I'll prepare to leave the house for my coming interview. Oh shoes! I forgot about shoes!

Anyhoo... if I get this interview; I'll have a nice posh job and I'll eventually have a chance to earn money and gain independence. I might even get to live on my own! The potentials are prospective! The first thing I should do is buy a laptop, then a bike, maybe a new wardrobe. I want to buy a lifestyle more than anything.

Oh, so the purpose of this post was to state positives:

1. I've lost 2lbs since yesterday (I did purge, but I also moderated - tried to moderate)
2. I've got an interview today
3. ...and another interview next wednesday
4. Contingency plan: internship will come about
5. Support plan: Work experience at wimbledon station
6. I've applied to four jobs this week. It's not as much as when I was back in REED, but its not as if I've been slacking.
7. My mood has improved after a few hiccups.

Note to self, when I go home I want to buy 'intention envelopes'. I've got a desire to make those lovely envelopes!