3 hours later...

Captain's log, supplemental (how can I never have started like that in my blog before?!)

3 hours on from 'catching up' with a couple dozen job boards, I've sent 8 applications to mostly agencies. Not bad, you might think. I still have more to do. There are about 3-4 proper applications to finish off, once I've finished them, I'll go to the gym and let off some steam. I'm going to talk about two completely irrelevant things, which I've really wanted to talk about for a long time.

The first thing is that my experience with depression and anxiety, and to some lesser extent, my eating disorder, has given me a bit of a critical insulation from some of the hurt and pain that a few of my friends are going through right now. I see how my friends are experiencing minor crises in their lives and moments of distress, and I have a great amount of sympathy for them. My counsellor from when I was doing my MA used to say that my friends were apprehensive about when I talked about my depression because it made them feel uncomfortable and insecure. I feel almost that my experiences in the past have given me a resilience today, like getting chickenpox early. But, following the metaphor, there are also shingles.

The second related point is that a good friend of mine is telling me essentially that he's got depression. I'm not sure how to deal with this. I don't want him to know about what happened to me. On the other hand, I don't want to sound like an arse. I find this difficult to deal with, not least because it's a problem with masculinity. I don't know how to talk about this with other men, unless they are mental health practitioners or related professionals. I don't know how to sound sympathetic with my friends or family either. There are men in my family circles (not necessarily family but family friends) who have depression issues, again, i don't know how to cope with that, especially when they know me in a certain way. Depression leaves its marks, and it leaves unresolved issues not from what I may be dealing with now, but how I deal with others.

Anyway, back to the grind. I'm glad that I let out that little thought.