So I'm doing what I usually do over the weekend, I make leisurely reading seem like a chore. Well, it is a chore if the backlog is big. I often make reasons to avoid reading the articles like being busy, or having something more important to do. I suppose I always have something more important to do. I'm presently perusing throuhg a website that the guardian fashion column suggested I look at. It seems that someone else also appreciates the male retro look of corduroy trousers, tweed/hemmingbone, and old fashioned long jackets. They probably don't share my long hair, oh well, I guess that's an 18thC thing.
I think that it is fair to say that my excercise this week has been on the back foot. My back is still giving me trouble. I ventured to call the local GP, but they are closed (damn..). I shall try on monday again, or failing that, tuesday. It is a bank holiday after all. So this week is filled with job applications. Or, it should be. Then monday will be my 'research' day.
When I think about planning things, I do it best when I'm not immediately trying to enact it. So if I'm in the loo, I suddenly have the freedom (freedom because I'm not going to do it) to consider how I may go about my research day. So, what I'm thinking is that I might write in treatise, systematic fashion what my thoughts are on the issue at hand.
When I look at fashionable things, I start to feel like a real human being. I quite like the feeling of adequacy and being like everyone else, not like Jez from peep show, living off mark without a job and just fucking about; or like Richie and Eddie from Bottom. To me those kinds of lifestyles seem like a hurrendous nighmare. Today is a nice sunny day. I might do an errand that my mum wants me to do (retrieve dry cleaning, and pay for it). That shouldn't take too long.
There's a couple of phrases that stick in my head right now. Mainly cos it is because a girl at some point said it.
"Don't sweat it", in a sense it is the most comforting thing a girl has ever said that I've heard. Even more than "I love you" . Don't sweat it, man. It's going to be alright, you are already a smart brilliant person and just keep fighting and you'll be alright. That's what I imagine from that phrase.
The other one is a word: Dilettante. It means amateur. I'm a dilettante academician, I'm not a proper academic or a 'true' academic. But I have a thesis and I'm determined to write it. Call me a quack, or a loony, but I really need to do this. I hope it leads further towards the likes of publications, conference papers and maybe recognition for my work. If universities won't accept me, then I will go to them and make them accept me, be it application, or self-publication. I need peer acceptance though. That's the only way people get recognised these days. There is of course the case of people like Frege and Hume, who were basically 'picked up' by other philosophers who in turn improved their popularity. Were it not for Immanuel; David would simply be a friend of Adam Smith who wrote a bit.
Anyway, I think its important to get my academic head ticking, not least for my sanity. I might venture to doing some gentle stretching. I think that I've fucked up a ligament or torn a muscle. If the muscle is torn I should get better pretty soon with gentle recovery.
I better get on with my day. Oh, there's one other thing I want to mention. I should really make mroe effort to eat less. That really works with weight loss, I think I lost the rhythm after I started going to the chinese takeaway, then the corner shop to snack. I'm going to be more determined with my weight loss and aim for the body that I deserve. I want to feel adequate, attractive, desirable and special. Doesn't everyone else want that? Otherwise I just feel like a bundle of inadequacy.
I think that it is fair to say that my excercise this week has been on the back foot. My back is still giving me trouble. I ventured to call the local GP, but they are closed (damn..). I shall try on monday again, or failing that, tuesday. It is a bank holiday after all. So this week is filled with job applications. Or, it should be. Then monday will be my 'research' day.
When I think about planning things, I do it best when I'm not immediately trying to enact it. So if I'm in the loo, I suddenly have the freedom (freedom because I'm not going to do it) to consider how I may go about my research day. So, what I'm thinking is that I might write in treatise, systematic fashion what my thoughts are on the issue at hand.
When I look at fashionable things, I start to feel like a real human being. I quite like the feeling of adequacy and being like everyone else, not like Jez from peep show, living off mark without a job and just fucking about; or like Richie and Eddie from Bottom. To me those kinds of lifestyles seem like a hurrendous nighmare. Today is a nice sunny day. I might do an errand that my mum wants me to do (retrieve dry cleaning, and pay for it). That shouldn't take too long.
There's a couple of phrases that stick in my head right now. Mainly cos it is because a girl at some point said it.
"Don't sweat it", in a sense it is the most comforting thing a girl has ever said that I've heard. Even more than "I love you" . Don't sweat it, man. It's going to be alright, you are already a smart brilliant person and just keep fighting and you'll be alright. That's what I imagine from that phrase.
The other one is a word: Dilettante. It means amateur. I'm a dilettante academician, I'm not a proper academic or a 'true' academic. But I have a thesis and I'm determined to write it. Call me a quack, or a loony, but I really need to do this. I hope it leads further towards the likes of publications, conference papers and maybe recognition for my work. If universities won't accept me, then I will go to them and make them accept me, be it application, or self-publication. I need peer acceptance though. That's the only way people get recognised these days. There is of course the case of people like Frege and Hume, who were basically 'picked up' by other philosophers who in turn improved their popularity. Were it not for Immanuel; David would simply be a friend of Adam Smith who wrote a bit.
Anyway, I think its important to get my academic head ticking, not least for my sanity. I might venture to doing some gentle stretching. I think that I've fucked up a ligament or torn a muscle. If the muscle is torn I should get better pretty soon with gentle recovery.
I better get on with my day. Oh, there's one other thing I want to mention. I should really make mroe effort to eat less. That really works with weight loss, I think I lost the rhythm after I started going to the chinese takeaway, then the corner shop to snack. I'm going to be more determined with my weight loss and aim for the body that I deserve. I want to feel adequate, attractive, desirable and special. Doesn't everyone else want that? Otherwise I just feel like a bundle of inadequacy.
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