I'm presently listening to what sounds liek a splice between genuine folk music and black metal. Ulver are quite interesting in that regard.
Lets talk about what I'm really posting for. I came back from training. Today's training session is different to previous ones. I only went 2 miles (3.2km) today, but I spent half an hour working on the cycling machine in the green gym. I then spent some time on the leg machine and then I jogged on. I didn't have any space to use the upper body machines as these little tykes took over the machines with their parents. I hate when that happens, but what can you do..
So, I'm back home, blogging, logged in the data, and mum's making breakfast. I ate chinese last night. Not the best decision. I feel a bit more comfortable in my skin. I've gained weight, or rather, I've not 'lost' weight. I'm 229lbs, despite thte fact that the only reason I haven't trained in the past week was (1. a beer festival) and (2. surgery). I need to keep going. I feel that I've made really good ground and I've kept a really good pace.
I need to text reply to that girl who has been text-bothering me.
I had a nightmare again. Basically the nightmare is reminding me of the little girl I left behind when I left to come back to my parents. I did want to be her dad, I just needed her mum to wait for me. Her mum didn't wait and she's now moved on. She has a new little 'sister' now as Antonia's new partner has a child of his own. I think they are both happier now. But where does that leave me?
I'm lonely, unemployed, gaining weight and my computer is failing me. I'm glad I'm jogging. At least I'm upright when I jog.
On balance, I feel like I'm fighting a battle. A battle against my own depressive thoughts, and a battle against the job market that I'm so desperately trying to get in. I've got a telephone conversation with a BBC researcher on monday (following my intern story submission on that website).
So today I have lots of things on my schedule, at least I've gotten the jogging procrastination out of my system on the early side of 1pm. I look forward to watching the expendables next week with my mates. After I finish writing this blog, I'm going to prepare my clothes for a shower, go to a shower, and then put new clothes on.
I'm typing this because my thoughts aren't so clear and I need to verbalise my activities. I will then sort out this cut on my thumb which I got during training (part of the reason I stopped today) and then I'll venture towards a breakfast meal which my mum has made. Once that's done with, I'm going to get on with my schedule. I should venture to not push back my tasks anymore.
Wish me luck. I need a miracle to get my life back.
I want my life back
I want to be thin
I want to be me again
I want to be true
I want to be good
I want to be eminent
I want to be special
Lets talk about what I'm really posting for. I came back from training. Today's training session is different to previous ones. I only went 2 miles (3.2km) today, but I spent half an hour working on the cycling machine in the green gym. I then spent some time on the leg machine and then I jogged on. I didn't have any space to use the upper body machines as these little tykes took over the machines with their parents. I hate when that happens, but what can you do..
So, I'm back home, blogging, logged in the data, and mum's making breakfast. I ate chinese last night. Not the best decision. I feel a bit more comfortable in my skin. I've gained weight, or rather, I've not 'lost' weight. I'm 229lbs, despite thte fact that the only reason I haven't trained in the past week was (1. a beer festival) and (2. surgery). I need to keep going. I feel that I've made really good ground and I've kept a really good pace.
I need to text reply to that girl who has been text-bothering me.
I had a nightmare again. Basically the nightmare is reminding me of the little girl I left behind when I left to come back to my parents. I did want to be her dad, I just needed her mum to wait for me. Her mum didn't wait and she's now moved on. She has a new little 'sister' now as Antonia's new partner has a child of his own. I think they are both happier now. But where does that leave me?
I'm lonely, unemployed, gaining weight and my computer is failing me. I'm glad I'm jogging. At least I'm upright when I jog.
On balance, I feel like I'm fighting a battle. A battle against my own depressive thoughts, and a battle against the job market that I'm so desperately trying to get in. I've got a telephone conversation with a BBC researcher on monday (following my intern story submission on that website).
So today I have lots of things on my schedule, at least I've gotten the jogging procrastination out of my system on the early side of 1pm. I look forward to watching the expendables next week with my mates. After I finish writing this blog, I'm going to prepare my clothes for a shower, go to a shower, and then put new clothes on.
I'm typing this because my thoughts aren't so clear and I need to verbalise my activities. I will then sort out this cut on my thumb which I got during training (part of the reason I stopped today) and then I'll venture towards a breakfast meal which my mum has made. Once that's done with, I'm going to get on with my schedule. I should venture to not push back my tasks anymore.
Wish me luck. I need a miracle to get my life back.
I want my life back
I want to be thin
I want to be me again
I want to be true
I want to be good
I want to be eminent
I want to be special
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