Every few days I set reminders for myself. One reminder is around memories and eras of my life.

I pause for a bit and I live in my head in specific memories, for a controlled period of time and a controlled era. It is grounding and I believe processes trauma and difficulties I had. I also revisit old demons and problems to...think about my current ones

I'm revisiting 2005-2006; 2006-2007. I see points of time, fixed moments and then it moves to other fixed moments, things move forward and then I do. 

But do I move forward? i feel like I haven't changed much in 5 years. In addition I see everyone moving forward in their lives but not me. I have a different burden. I'm doing very different work. Many people will not know the full extent of what I'm working on. j

I've been writing in this blog since 2007 - 2008 I think. I write iwhout context or explanation. Some things increasingly I cannot talk about in detail but I wonder sometimes I the fabric of me is unravelling and I fundamentally change. I suppose we can't choose that we change. That's mortality. It's also the case we can't choose how certain things affect us, like you know, the looming environmental collapse and economic disaster.