The past week

Hello Everyone,

I've been away for the past week or so and not posting. This has been for a few reasons.

1. The most important and explanatory worthy consideration is that my internet connection has died at my flat. Apparently it should be installed in about... three days ago.
2. I may have mentioned that I failed an essay for my MA; I was almost about to finish my degree and then I got the bad news. I failed my essay that I did about a month or so previously.
3. More bad news. My potential doctoral supervisor has refused to give a reference. He said to finish off my masters first, and take things one step at a time. The irony is that when people say that to me, I believe it less: i used to believe in it and say that as a mantra repeatedly.

One step at a time.

4. It looks like my finances are not looking too good. I want to do a doctorate. I want to be in the university. I want to be at uni. I don't want to be anywhere else. I don't want ot take time out. I don't want to have a job and never thing about intellectual things again. I want to write essays and read books and be around academics and learn from them.

I don't want to leave university.

5. My student period ends in a few days. I call my family and they expect me to do everyhting independently. They feel such disappointment in me and don't want me to---

as I type I just experienced a trigger...

I think I'm going to end the post now. Suddenly I want to purge.