confidence

I used to buy clothes that were big because I was afraid tigfht clothes would make me look fat and add to my inadeuqacy

I would buy clothes to hide my fat. Bigger sizes, bigger clothes to hide my curves.

Whyen I started purging, I bought clothes, kept small articles of clothing...or so I thought of 'small'. So that one day when I found it, I wore and it would fit. I am wearing some tight trousers as I am packing for my new flat...I find that they are fitting, but painful; they are still tight. I still have work to do.

The news about antonia is very upsetting for me right now. I am avoiding the want to purge. Why am I not purging? That's the big question that I can't answer. I can't find an answer; but I feel I will try to fight this in other ways. I'll go to the gym, for one...