almost a good day....almost

so, the stucture of my day goes something like this....

Edit paper for a journal to submit.
take a break to eat
feel tired, go to sleep for a while,
wake up...

as i wake; I hear news from moriarty, and marie of such nature to distress me.

I almost felt good about myself today....almost

Now I'm gonna purge.
It's almost unfortunate, it's almost sad.

I felt a sense of achievement today, I felt positive and going to move forward.

so today, I ate two bananas and beans & toast.

hopefully I still have it inside me. I feel quite distressed, to put my finger lightly on it.

just thinking about drinking lots of water, going on my knees, and purging...is a comfort. To actually do it, is the only thing I have.

Come on, it was just a blip of a bad feeling I am having. Purge, then you will feel better...
Oh God, I feel so out of control I can't grab hold onto anything..

Fucking moriarty......I want to scream.