Avoidance

I have been avoiding even thinking about these problems; but now, I am articulating them. It causes great anxiety and distress to think about them...

This is why my life is so difficult right now, and why I want to escape...

1. I need to find money for a PhD
2. I need to find a place that will take me on for a PhD
3. I am constantly thinking about a girl, and am worried about her
4. I need to find a place to live
5. I need to get referees for a PhD application
6. I need to impress the department to get good references
7. I have to accept that even if I do get money, a PhD programme and a future as an academic; I will have next to nothing in my life; the pay is poor, I will have no relationship prospects, no job security fior the next 10 years.
8. I want Marie to be okay...I care about her. I wish I knew how she felt about me.
9. I need a cuddle. I feel so lonely and worthless
   It's hard to get treated by the doctors because
10. I don't trust them.
11. They are a threat
12. They haven't helped me
13. They said they can't help
14. It causes me distress
15. I need to lose more weight. I have been purging since september and I have lost nearly 70lbs...I need to be slimmer so i can feel more attractive and positive about my body
16. I have anxiety problems, especially with girls..its hard for me to talk to her, even though we have gotten close