I don't know how long it's been, but really, there's not much to say, except what I'll say now.
I had another personal trainer session on Monday, I worked really hard and I pushed myself beyond my limits. Even though I was being modest with my workout in terms of the weights, compared to the other big boys (and girls, it should be said) working out, I did work within what was my physicality and I think I did quite well. The excercise consists of
Chest press: 12-15 reps in a set, 3x set - by set 3 I was really feeling the pain
Shoulder Press: Same - halfway through set 2 I was feeling dead
Leg press: 3x reps but I can go up to 20 in a set, but the 3rd set is the killer
Arm curl: same reps, but I did 6 sets, that was fairly easy compared to the others, I think the trainer said because people are used to those muslces being used there's less resistance in the task.
I started the session with a warm up and a warm down of the rowing machine, that rowing machine is a real killer. After the session I went to the steam room, and it was nice. I thought there was a cedarwood smell, but apparently it was actually a drainage problem. That made me a bit sick after realising that. There was an overweight old woman wearing a bathing suit with her legs open and out while sitting on the bench in the steam room. Were it not for the obscurance of the steamed air, I would have definately felt sick. It was mildly sexual sitting next to a random woman in my underpants. Perhaps it was the anonymity of it.
Anyway, coming home I did what I always do after gym, I played some halo, binged then plonked out on the bed. After waking up I then caught up with applications and then I had some insomnia issues. Yesterday felt like a blur, perhaps because nothing seemingly got completed. I woke up late, I went to counselling. Counselling was actually quite constructive last night, I talked about things that helped me out. I'm a systematic thinker and thinking about the more peripherary issues seemingly leads always to the rotten core. I walked a fair amount on the way, and I did genuinely feel that I made some progress in the session. My counsellor finds it hard to understand me, I find it hard to understand me but I do feel that the systematic connections I make in my thought leave tracks, and history leaves tracks to the present.
Going home, I realised that my arm work on monday really caused me a lot of pain. I was immobilised and I spent most of the evening browsing, and watching an animated series called Aeon Flux, it's so amazing, it's avant-garde and strangely erotic. My kind of cartoon.
Today I am semi conscious of the fact that I need to get ready for work in a few hours, I've got a long evening shift, but it's not going to be too bad. The cute blonde chatty girl will be working tonight, as well as that guy who is nice to talk to but does seem like a borderline sociopathic rapist, or a 14 year old boy in a 45 year old man's body. That fellow is surprisingly articulate and we get one. I suppose that says much more about me than anything.
Oh, another positive thing of today: I've got invited to a job interview! It's for a um, Government job and has a helluva lot of clearance to fill out. I'll probably need to sort that out soonish. I'll learn from the lesson of the last government job interview I had. I bloody hope I get in, but chances are slim. Then again, chances are slim to get interviews, anyway!
I better get on with my tasks for today. I feel notoriously behind with everything. I also realise how inept job applications are sometimes. I saw an internship that asks for 'experience' in a previous internship for instance, people have no chance for work if even work experience requires work experience. What bullshit. I hate this. Anyway, let's hope things get better. My interview is in South East London, that's damn scary. I don't know anything about south easy london except the time my dad's car got broken into at Woolich 20 years ago for the radio and we had to drive home with a smashed window while freezing in the back.
I've got to get on, with my life, with love, with all sorts. Oh I should mention: I got messaged by a couple of girls this week, one is really far away but was basically saying how sexy I am and how easily if I were living nearer to her, how she would fuck and seduce me. That's hot. I need sex. Also I got messaged by a cute older woman (yes I like 'MILF's) who is the hippy type and finds me gorgeous (or in the common vernacular: someone identical to my ex). At least I'm not chasing 19 year old goth girls anymore. Ugh, my shame.
I'm glad my arms hurt, it subtitutes my inner pain.
I had another personal trainer session on Monday, I worked really hard and I pushed myself beyond my limits. Even though I was being modest with my workout in terms of the weights, compared to the other big boys (and girls, it should be said) working out, I did work within what was my physicality and I think I did quite well. The excercise consists of
Chest press: 12-15 reps in a set, 3x set - by set 3 I was really feeling the pain
Shoulder Press: Same - halfway through set 2 I was feeling dead
Leg press: 3x reps but I can go up to 20 in a set, but the 3rd set is the killer
Arm curl: same reps, but I did 6 sets, that was fairly easy compared to the others, I think the trainer said because people are used to those muslces being used there's less resistance in the task.
I started the session with a warm up and a warm down of the rowing machine, that rowing machine is a real killer. After the session I went to the steam room, and it was nice. I thought there was a cedarwood smell, but apparently it was actually a drainage problem. That made me a bit sick after realising that. There was an overweight old woman wearing a bathing suit with her legs open and out while sitting on the bench in the steam room. Were it not for the obscurance of the steamed air, I would have definately felt sick. It was mildly sexual sitting next to a random woman in my underpants. Perhaps it was the anonymity of it.
Anyway, coming home I did what I always do after gym, I played some halo, binged then plonked out on the bed. After waking up I then caught up with applications and then I had some insomnia issues. Yesterday felt like a blur, perhaps because nothing seemingly got completed. I woke up late, I went to counselling. Counselling was actually quite constructive last night, I talked about things that helped me out. I'm a systematic thinker and thinking about the more peripherary issues seemingly leads always to the rotten core. I walked a fair amount on the way, and I did genuinely feel that I made some progress in the session. My counsellor finds it hard to understand me, I find it hard to understand me but I do feel that the systematic connections I make in my thought leave tracks, and history leaves tracks to the present.
Going home, I realised that my arm work on monday really caused me a lot of pain. I was immobilised and I spent most of the evening browsing, and watching an animated series called Aeon Flux, it's so amazing, it's avant-garde and strangely erotic. My kind of cartoon.
Today I am semi conscious of the fact that I need to get ready for work in a few hours, I've got a long evening shift, but it's not going to be too bad. The cute blonde chatty girl will be working tonight, as well as that guy who is nice to talk to but does seem like a borderline sociopathic rapist, or a 14 year old boy in a 45 year old man's body. That fellow is surprisingly articulate and we get one. I suppose that says much more about me than anything.
Oh, another positive thing of today: I've got invited to a job interview! It's for a um, Government job and has a helluva lot of clearance to fill out. I'll probably need to sort that out soonish. I'll learn from the lesson of the last government job interview I had. I bloody hope I get in, but chances are slim. Then again, chances are slim to get interviews, anyway!
I better get on with my tasks for today. I feel notoriously behind with everything. I also realise how inept job applications are sometimes. I saw an internship that asks for 'experience' in a previous internship for instance, people have no chance for work if even work experience requires work experience. What bullshit. I hate this. Anyway, let's hope things get better. My interview is in South East London, that's damn scary. I don't know anything about south easy london except the time my dad's car got broken into at Woolich 20 years ago for the radio and we had to drive home with a smashed window while freezing in the back.
I've got to get on, with my life, with love, with all sorts. Oh I should mention: I got messaged by a couple of girls this week, one is really far away but was basically saying how sexy I am and how easily if I were living nearer to her, how she would fuck and seduce me. That's hot. I need sex. Also I got messaged by a cute older woman (yes I like 'MILF's) who is the hippy type and finds me gorgeous (or in the common vernacular: someone identical to my ex). At least I'm not chasing 19 year old goth girls anymore. Ugh, my shame.
I'm glad my arms hurt, it subtitutes my inner pain.
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