As busy as the day is long

Good morning (It's still morning, isn't it?)

Today feels long. I woke up early. I did something different to most days in recent weeks, as I got up early, I actually stayed up. I ventured for an early start in the morning. My dad's throat sounds of coughing were an annoyance to say the least, it sounds like he's quite ill. It's more annoying than worrying, but it is both. I'm tired of his inadequacies.

I did a lot of job searches, eleven job boards and organisations; I watched a few episodes of X men, and then I applied to two jobs. I feel like my mind is slowing a bit at the moment. Perhaps I need to clear my head.

I've made the decision to cancel my december appointments for counselling. This is due to a few reasons:

• Two-three of those weeks I will genuinely be unavailable for an appointment. Due to Christmas, and post-Christmas, and a possible visit to my ex.
• I need to save money
• I feel awkward around the counsellor
• I felt I disclosed something in yesterday's session that makes me uncomfortable about myself

The two reasons at the end aren't very good ones, but I'm being honest. I feel powerless enough in society. It just seems easier to not do any more sessions after next week. What about January? Now that's a question...maybe I'm deceiving myself to cancel indefinately. I'm not sure yet, but its a good way to decieve myself. The work of mia perhaps?

Speaking of mia, I had a supper last night that consisted of a roti that was a week old, cereal, and a grab bag of doritos estimated value of bag: 750kcal. I guess in balance my diet wasn't the worst in the world. I have a lot to do today, not least the preparation for tomorrow's interviews. I've decided to take a break for lunch. Perhaps a break will space out my concentrations