while jogging, I felt a strong sense of distress. My motivation was quite low. I did manage 3.6 mi, 6.5k and a few upper body and ab excercises in addition to the jogging.
I am tempted to purge. Another coping strategy presently involves binging. My coping stragegy for today consists of a very distinct kind of binging. I bought 8 packets of prawn flavoured crisps in between the adverts for Star Trek Voyager and DS9. I was scoffing myself in front of a fine episode of star trek.
In a moment of feeling gloom for myself (ex girlfriend facebook related trigger), I was thrown a proverbial life jacket. The girl whom I had sent a message to on a social networking site who seemed to warm up to my background and intellectual interests, as well as my long hair and androgynous looks, had sent me a brief message of an apology. The lady didn't reply because she was busy with other things and in her words, was feeling quite depressed.
While not to poopoo on her plight; I did feel a sense of assurance. Unpacking a double negative; the lady from the social networking site seemed to like me, and it wasn't because of me that she didn't reply. The lady intends to email me with a longer reply to our conversation that met a three-four week stop.
Today I attended to one of those tasks that I have been putting off for ages, that being, what I call 'foldering'. I also reorganised my drawers. In a way that a single thing like recieving a message from a social networking site that changes your mood completely, I also had an upsetting, disressing talk with my ex on msn. She upset me a great deal. I also came to the realisation that I am terribly alone. I have no one to talk to about my feelings and i feel captured and helpless. I am 23 years old and I'm living with my parents. I dont see any short term improvement and the longer this horrid situation plays out, the further away my aspirations can really be realistic.
Someone please throw me a life preserver and save me. I was feeling fairly content throughout the day, despite a few triggers (because I was organising triggering documents). I did a lot of good work today and untangled a big problem of mess.
I hope to move forward
I am tempted to purge. Another coping strategy presently involves binging. My coping stragegy for today consists of a very distinct kind of binging. I bought 8 packets of prawn flavoured crisps in between the adverts for Star Trek Voyager and DS9. I was scoffing myself in front of a fine episode of star trek.
In a moment of feeling gloom for myself (ex girlfriend facebook related trigger), I was thrown a proverbial life jacket. The girl whom I had sent a message to on a social networking site who seemed to warm up to my background and intellectual interests, as well as my long hair and androgynous looks, had sent me a brief message of an apology. The lady didn't reply because she was busy with other things and in her words, was feeling quite depressed.
While not to poopoo on her plight; I did feel a sense of assurance. Unpacking a double negative; the lady from the social networking site seemed to like me, and it wasn't because of me that she didn't reply. The lady intends to email me with a longer reply to our conversation that met a three-four week stop.
Today I attended to one of those tasks that I have been putting off for ages, that being, what I call 'foldering'. I also reorganised my drawers. In a way that a single thing like recieving a message from a social networking site that changes your mood completely, I also had an upsetting, disressing talk with my ex on msn. She upset me a great deal. I also came to the realisation that I am terribly alone. I have no one to talk to about my feelings and i feel captured and helpless. I am 23 years old and I'm living with my parents. I dont see any short term improvement and the longer this horrid situation plays out, the further away my aspirations can really be realistic.
Someone please throw me a life preserver and save me. I was feeling fairly content throughout the day, despite a few triggers (because I was organising triggering documents). I did a lot of good work today and untangled a big problem of mess.
I hope to move forward
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