Today, a lot happened. Inside, a lot of feelings were played through, and my esteem on one hand has been raised, on the other, my esteem has gone down. But with both effects, I feel like I have a more realisitic grip on reality, in addition, I feel I have a better grip on how to sort out my life. I just hope it works.
I feel as if my ideals of meritocracy have not met reality. The reality is, people get jobs, and many do not; there are more people than jobs, and although there are many people who are able and willing and quite good, they end up on the dole, with a lower self-esteem and aspiration.
I went to a recruitment consultancy today. I went as a condition, or suggestion, from my job centre. It was a london firm, professional, and all of the girls were quite sexy, young, and friendly. They were the archetypal noughties office, friendly, sexy, a bit kinky (probably, one of the girls had these very sexy sandals on, showing very pretty feet, as well as an eloquent tattoo on the side).
Everyone in the workshop was from the job centre. The consultant who gave us advice, was a very interesting person. The fellow was mature, yet 'cool'. Probably childless, probably unmarried, probably stuck in a 30s macho mindset. I don't often venture into the city. All of those corporate types, in their suits and posh clothes intimidate me. It exhibits a kind of middle class sentiment and ideal that people like me were fed to aspire to, but have probably been snatched from realising.
The man in the consultancy (I shall call him Giles, because that seems like a city slicker kind of name) was honest. The facts as we know very well are evident. There aren't many jobs about, and what we really want to do in life is probably going to have to wait until the real capital of the world (the kind in your bank account) pays the bills, improves one's life situation and self esteem.
The credit crunch has made me more aware of money, it has made me weary of it, and yet desiring of it. I want money. I want it really badly. I am changing in a lot of ways. I want it really bad. Money won't buy me happiness, but it will eliminate the unhappiness of now.
The other people that were there were:
i. Male, asian, engineer, polytechnic graduate 2009 summer
ii. Male, black, environmental science, polytechnic 2009 summer
iii. Male, eastern european, wants to work in admin, or any job that gives money, until he can start a business. What business? He doesn't know: it's clear that his goals are too vague to be realised
iv. Male, white, cockney, mickey mouse degree from mickey mouse university. Wants to do sports journalism. Experience with intern, besides that, no experience
v. Female, black, acturarial degree from polytechnic, she's got a nice qualification, but her english isn't great, she didn't answer the competency test question quick enough; and she didn't seem on the ball enough to succeed.
All of them were sub-par graduates, but I am not perfect either: Here is my profile:
vi. Male, asian + disability, russell group arts degree postgraduate + undergraduate in social science/arts combo, unemployed for a year, looking for jobs.
I felt a bit good that I wasn't on my own. I felt a bit good that I felt superior to them, too. I was the older dog, perhaps old enough to be shot in the head and put to sleep (my flaw), but I was a bit experienced and worn down, yet, I knew a bit about how to survive. This meeting was by no means useless, I learned a lot.
One of the fellows asked: I want to use my degree for my ideal job, but won't it go 'stale' after a while?
My response: Keep it fresh. It sounded a bit urban and slangy as a neat slogan. My point was, use your own interest (if it's genuine) to pursue the subject. In environmentalism, or sports, follow the season (pun). Keep up with the literature, current affairs, and any grassroots stuff going on.
I've got to think over about the events of today.
The negative thing I mention, is that my mum's input of money will stop. Which is fair, I cannot rely on her handouts. It's been 4 years now.
I feel as if my ideals of meritocracy have not met reality. The reality is, people get jobs, and many do not; there are more people than jobs, and although there are many people who are able and willing and quite good, they end up on the dole, with a lower self-esteem and aspiration.
I went to a recruitment consultancy today. I went as a condition, or suggestion, from my job centre. It was a london firm, professional, and all of the girls were quite sexy, young, and friendly. They were the archetypal noughties office, friendly, sexy, a bit kinky (probably, one of the girls had these very sexy sandals on, showing very pretty feet, as well as an eloquent tattoo on the side).
Everyone in the workshop was from the job centre. The consultant who gave us advice, was a very interesting person. The fellow was mature, yet 'cool'. Probably childless, probably unmarried, probably stuck in a 30s macho mindset. I don't often venture into the city. All of those corporate types, in their suits and posh clothes intimidate me. It exhibits a kind of middle class sentiment and ideal that people like me were fed to aspire to, but have probably been snatched from realising.
The man in the consultancy (I shall call him Giles, because that seems like a city slicker kind of name) was honest. The facts as we know very well are evident. There aren't many jobs about, and what we really want to do in life is probably going to have to wait until the real capital of the world (the kind in your bank account) pays the bills, improves one's life situation and self esteem.
The credit crunch has made me more aware of money, it has made me weary of it, and yet desiring of it. I want money. I want it really badly. I am changing in a lot of ways. I want it really bad. Money won't buy me happiness, but it will eliminate the unhappiness of now.
The other people that were there were:
i. Male, asian, engineer, polytechnic graduate 2009 summer
ii. Male, black, environmental science, polytechnic 2009 summer
iii. Male, eastern european, wants to work in admin, or any job that gives money, until he can start a business. What business? He doesn't know: it's clear that his goals are too vague to be realised
iv. Male, white, cockney, mickey mouse degree from mickey mouse university. Wants to do sports journalism. Experience with intern, besides that, no experience
v. Female, black, acturarial degree from polytechnic, she's got a nice qualification, but her english isn't great, she didn't answer the competency test question quick enough; and she didn't seem on the ball enough to succeed.
All of them were sub-par graduates, but I am not perfect either: Here is my profile:
vi. Male, asian + disability, russell group arts degree postgraduate + undergraduate in social science/arts combo, unemployed for a year, looking for jobs.
I felt a bit good that I wasn't on my own. I felt a bit good that I felt superior to them, too. I was the older dog, perhaps old enough to be shot in the head and put to sleep (my flaw), but I was a bit experienced and worn down, yet, I knew a bit about how to survive. This meeting was by no means useless, I learned a lot.
One of the fellows asked: I want to use my degree for my ideal job, but won't it go 'stale' after a while?
My response: Keep it fresh. It sounded a bit urban and slangy as a neat slogan. My point was, use your own interest (if it's genuine) to pursue the subject. In environmentalism, or sports, follow the season (pun). Keep up with the literature, current affairs, and any grassroots stuff going on.
I've got to think over about the events of today.
The negative thing I mention, is that my mum's input of money will stop. Which is fair, I cannot rely on her handouts. It's been 4 years now.
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