went to the doctors just earlier.
they couldn't be any less literally throwing medications at me. They haven't given me a diagnosis, they just prescribe things to me. This contrasts greatly to the story of how they said it was 'clearcut' depression in 2005, clearcut psychosis in summer 2005, anxiety, late 2005. I hate diagnosis.
I want people to see I am suffering, I want people to know it, I want to make them worrk it out., I have lost 90lbs and almost no one has noticed my loss of weight.
I feel so inferior. I am not good enough to be noticed, Im not good enough to attract the atention of people and the concern of others in the way that Moriarty can. Moriarty is always at the centre stage, even if he's not actually there. The latter of which normally obtains.
I purged twice today. only ate about a 700kcal pizza. I have no money in my account, but luckily, I am heading off home to my parents.
I tried to tell my parents about my MLitt application, that I have not yet applied to. I also want to tell them how much of a fucked up situation my life is in.
WHY CAN'T ANYONE SEE IT!!!!!!!!!
Why can't I have marie?
It would be nice to commit suicide around now. Real nice, but for some reason, I feel now is not the time.
The doctor made me feel bad because I used the word 'desideratum'; he said it wasn't english. Felt like a sign of disapproval and inferiority. Why are these doctors making me feels os inferior such that they rule and define me.
They label me, and it sticks to me, like glue, and like glue, it makes other shit stick to me at the same time. I want to have a really big purge, but I just feel really tired to do any mroe. I feel that I am not putting much of the effort in, inasmuch that I don't have any more worthy and heavy enough food to purge...most of it is just food-like acid.
I often measure my purging by units. Like a single unit is when there is force and it comes out in one big gush. Its hard to say it any more clearer than that. The purge I did wasn't much solids, but there was a bit of liquid, though.
I feel abslutely miserable. I feel like my life is in utter despair, and the one thing I can't bear to hear now is someone saying "how can I help you?", because I don't know how...
they couldn't be any less literally throwing medications at me. They haven't given me a diagnosis, they just prescribe things to me. This contrasts greatly to the story of how they said it was 'clearcut' depression in 2005, clearcut psychosis in summer 2005, anxiety, late 2005. I hate diagnosis.
I want people to see I am suffering, I want people to know it, I want to make them worrk it out., I have lost 90lbs and almost no one has noticed my loss of weight.
I feel so inferior. I am not good enough to be noticed, Im not good enough to attract the atention of people and the concern of others in the way that Moriarty can. Moriarty is always at the centre stage, even if he's not actually there. The latter of which normally obtains.
I purged twice today. only ate about a 700kcal pizza. I have no money in my account, but luckily, I am heading off home to my parents.
I tried to tell my parents about my MLitt application, that I have not yet applied to. I also want to tell them how much of a fucked up situation my life is in.
WHY CAN'T ANYONE SEE IT!!!!!!!!!
Why can't I have marie?
It would be nice to commit suicide around now. Real nice, but for some reason, I feel now is not the time.
The doctor made me feel bad because I used the word 'desideratum'; he said it wasn't english. Felt like a sign of disapproval and inferiority. Why are these doctors making me feels os inferior such that they rule and define me.
They label me, and it sticks to me, like glue, and like glue, it makes other shit stick to me at the same time. I want to have a really big purge, but I just feel really tired to do any mroe. I feel that I am not putting much of the effort in, inasmuch that I don't have any more worthy and heavy enough food to purge...most of it is just food-like acid.
I often measure my purging by units. Like a single unit is when there is force and it comes out in one big gush. Its hard to say it any more clearer than that. The purge I did wasn't much solids, but there was a bit of liquid, though.
I feel abslutely miserable. I feel like my life is in utter despair, and the one thing I can't bear to hear now is someone saying "how can I help you?", because I don't know how...
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