I'm having trouble sleeping at the moment. Some days I might just have 4 hours, wake up at an acceptable time in the morning and get on. Then by 7-8pm I'm exhausted and Sleep for 5 hours. I end up waking up before 2am and it messes with the rest of the day. It's 4:20 (lol) am and I'm in a similar situation.

The day that was saturday started well. I woke up at 7am thinking whether I should go to the gym. I eventually decided to do 2 classes. It went okay. My moves weren't so good but I got the motions done. Later I ended up cycling to the nearby waitrose. there was a queue so I cycled past the big park and then went to WH Smiths. I went to get the Saturday Sentinel but the supplements weren't included in the package. Also I really wanted to get the latest metal hammer. I decided right there to cycle 4 miles to another WH Smiths. It was a nice journey, wore me out when I got home after buying metal hammer. I had an energy drink in between travelling. Coca Cola do energy drinks now, that's what I learned today. 

As I got home I did some bike maintenance while smoking a cigar. I cleaned my seat post, lubed up parts. I did a surface clean, cleaned the drivetrain, applied brake lube and sprayed it all off. I applied some lubricant and ran the chain through some brushes and pat dry any excess goop and dirt. I still had some cigar to finish so I sat outside to continue it. I cooked for a bit. I'm practicing cooking with beef. I ended up falling asleep around 8pm. I was exhausted. It was quite satisfying to be that tired. I felt a realisation that when I push myself like that, I go to my absolute limit. I must have had some kooky dreams as I felt every emotional after waking up around 11:30, or was it 2237? That would only be 2+ hours of sleep. 

I'm working on some deep and important stuff in my day job. I could talk about that but perhaps I don't want to here. I've been thinking about self care and what it means to me. Having a day on the bike doing my own thing seems to do well for me. Being physically active. Dressing warm, wearing a fancy jacket. Listening to heavy metal on a bike wearing leather. Two wheels feels good. My bike had a bit of scoring on it, a bit of mud and dirt. It's not fully clean but I got most of the muck off. 

I didn't end up reading the paper for Saturday. I still have lots to do this weekend. On the plus side. I got to ask my brother and sister what they want for Christmas. Sis said she's fine. I've not been in contact with her very much lately. I don't think we are getting along. It's my issue. It's not hers. I think lots of my problems are two way, but when I say two way, both 'ways' have to do with me. I don't blame them for problems in communication. I just don't feel like talking anymore.

Anyway I better get back to work. If I don't post before Christmas I should say how so many people I know are getting married or expecting and it's a real sign of transition. People are getting on with their lives. What about me? I've been watching Cobra Kai on netflix and there's an episode where the character meets his friends from his teen years. They all have lives of their own while the Cobra Kai guy Johnny is not quite there yet.

Onwards