Ah, so, I'm feeling tired after reading two chapters today, and watching a documentary on iplayer about the noughties. After Robert Webb's comforting but depressing voicover ended, I felt little motivation to do the other things on my schedule (namely, apply for jobs, read an article on set theory and read more chapters). I felt the mental tendency to return to that dark place of thinking about my 'rejection' yesterday. I then thought to get out of that mindset and resolved to sort out my photos and maybe upload some facebook gems. So, deciding that I would do that for the rest of the day, I went downstairs to play with my nephew! (oh, the deceptive joy of procrastination)
Upon returning to my workspace (how IT does that sound), I found an email from a social networking site that I often visit. I girl that I have been messaging for the past week had put two replies to my single reply (I work on an etiquette rule of tit for tat - no pun intended) where her latterly reply goes something like:
I'm going to go out on this limb here, and ask if you'd like to meet up for a coffee or arty type event sometime?
My answer: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My actual answer: I'd love that, thank you for asking (p.s. im shy )
Oh, some caveats. She's queer. Not in a homophobic way, but she's just changed her listing from bisexual to homosexual (which makes things fairly clear). I guess that makes things not like some 'normal' date, but I'm not normal and neither is she. We are both different and comfortably so (well maybe not me comfortably). So, it will be meeting a girl I met on the internet whom I had fairly amicable and intellectual conversations with whom I will meet in person because we have the semblance of liking each other.
I'm not trying to be cynical, I really am happy to meet a new girl. I'm just aware that I don't have periods or mensturation and I dont know exactly how queer friendly I am. Not to say that I'm a man's man or macho or anything like that. But gay culture and bisexuality is something I read in very patriarchal terms. Im a patriarchal guy, I like 18thC scholarship and most of my favourite academics are men. Im not man-ist but um...I'm dithering like some idiot aren't I? This is probably what I should absolutely not do on the date.
Anyhoo. My frown has turned into an upside down frown (which is slightly less acute an angle than a smile).
Upon returning to my workspace (how IT does that sound), I found an email from a social networking site that I often visit. I girl that I have been messaging for the past week had put two replies to my single reply (I work on an etiquette rule of tit for tat - no pun intended) where her latterly reply goes something like:
I'm going to go out on this limb here, and ask if you'd like to meet up for a coffee or arty type event sometime?
My answer: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My actual answer: I'd love that, thank you for asking (p.s. im shy )
Oh, some caveats. She's queer. Not in a homophobic way, but she's just changed her listing from bisexual to homosexual (which makes things fairly clear). I guess that makes things not like some 'normal' date, but I'm not normal and neither is she. We are both different and comfortably so (well maybe not me comfortably). So, it will be meeting a girl I met on the internet whom I had fairly amicable and intellectual conversations with whom I will meet in person because we have the semblance of liking each other.
I'm not trying to be cynical, I really am happy to meet a new girl. I'm just aware that I don't have periods or mensturation and I dont know exactly how queer friendly I am. Not to say that I'm a man's man or macho or anything like that. But gay culture and bisexuality is something I read in very patriarchal terms. Im a patriarchal guy, I like 18thC scholarship and most of my favourite academics are men. Im not man-ist but um...I'm dithering like some idiot aren't I? This is probably what I should absolutely not do on the date.
Anyhoo. My frown has turned into an upside down frown (which is slightly less acute an angle than a smile).
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