Punctuality

Today I have had a very late wakeup. I got up around 2pm and I have found my motivation quite low and most of my day has been very difficult in trying to get something done. At the moment the two things that I have put the most conscious effort in include getting to sit on my chair and looking at my schedule and doing some minor rescheduling.

I have been listening to an audiobook today called 'the borderlands of science'. There is a section on how people are cranks about presenting nonsesnse theories of everything. Somehow I am reminded of my current situation. My doctoral dissertation was rejected, and I am no longer part of the academic establishment. I wsi h to have an academic career and present my thesis but I have been excluded and kicked out finding any outlet to express myself. Some of them have masters degrees, as do I.

I feel that I may be a crank, since I fulfill many of the conditions for being a crank. In between finishing this post I went to procrastinate by practicing some piano. It was somewhat productive b ut it made me very aware of my limitations and my difficulties. I have difficulties but right now I seem not to be righting them but just seeking rest and escape. My head is not concentrating very well at the point when I am on the cusp of getting out of unemployment limbo.

I must keep fighting or else I'll stay in this hellhole forever.