I had an odd dream this morning. I had a dream that I was a labourer working for a daily basis for some building contractor or some kind of open site with other workers. I recalled that they gave the workers a free lunch and some of the other manual labourers were threatening, and it was in Wales. I had some kind of associations with my ex girlfriend while I was working as a labourer. There was a builders breakfast that was served in a queue, they gave us a work uniform/fatigue to wear and some of the people there were regular contractors who gave some assurance to the new entrants like myself. I was looking forward to the sum of money that would have been paid cash in hand to me. When I woke up I felt a realisation and perspective more of how to interpret the dream, as it did seem pretty mysterious to me while in the dream. I thought it was a dreadful dream and I thought I would be very unhappy if I worked explicitly for money rather than a job I would choose to do and reasonably enjoy. I then felt a sense of how the eastern european workers may feel nowadays, and that this may be their daily plight; the insecurity of cash in hand, how no one is out there to vouch for you except fellow workers, and a certain sense of old fashioned proletarianism.
Writing these thoughts down probably display me as some kind of lazy slothful person, I found the dreams terrifying and I felt a somewhat mild sense of relief, thinking that such would be my plight if I lived with my now-ex. It is hard to have any kind assurance these days. In other news, I have recieved an interview to volunteer with the local police force. The role that I have been invited to is probably administrative, and I dont currently feel anything at all about this.
When I woke up properly this morning, I have awoken in a somewhat representative fashion that has been established over the past few days. The first thing I do is get up and put my alarm clock off at 8am and then go back to sleep. I am trying to set the right time for me to wake up, that is early enough for me to stay up but not too late to be lazy. Too late is 1pm. Presently I find it exceptionally difficult to wake up between 7-8am and I fool myself into going back to sleep. When I type this my rationality seems absent in my actions. I have an overwhelming disposition just to listen to my body and go back to sleep. I assert to myself now that this is not the right approach. I must not allow myself to sleep late. I got up about a quarter to midday today. Late, but not too late by more extremes I've had in the past.
Lately I have not been keeping to my schedule, or any kind of routine. I jogged once last week; granted, my reluctance to jog last week was as a result of my flu nearly 2 weeks ago. That's passed now and so I am able to face the future in a more positive manner. A few eventful things had happened last week, and I was looking forward to them the week before. I felt a sense of excitement and joy about the PGCE interview, the other interview invite I had recieved (That's on wednesday this week). I had bought a tuxedo and had the telephone interview as well. With the excitement of two weeks ago and the unusual amount of activity that represented a culmination of all my applications and actions of previous weeks; I have since then, felt a sense of depleted motivation. Now I am at a lower gear and my concentration and powers of action are more difficult.
Writing these thoughts down probably display me as some kind of lazy slothful person, I found the dreams terrifying and I felt a somewhat mild sense of relief, thinking that such would be my plight if I lived with my now-ex. It is hard to have any kind assurance these days. In other news, I have recieved an interview to volunteer with the local police force. The role that I have been invited to is probably administrative, and I dont currently feel anything at all about this.
When I woke up properly this morning, I have awoken in a somewhat representative fashion that has been established over the past few days. The first thing I do is get up and put my alarm clock off at 8am and then go back to sleep. I am trying to set the right time for me to wake up, that is early enough for me to stay up but not too late to be lazy. Too late is 1pm. Presently I find it exceptionally difficult to wake up between 7-8am and I fool myself into going back to sleep. When I type this my rationality seems absent in my actions. I have an overwhelming disposition just to listen to my body and go back to sleep. I assert to myself now that this is not the right approach. I must not allow myself to sleep late. I got up about a quarter to midday today. Late, but not too late by more extremes I've had in the past.
Lately I have not been keeping to my schedule, or any kind of routine. I jogged once last week; granted, my reluctance to jog last week was as a result of my flu nearly 2 weeks ago. That's passed now and so I am able to face the future in a more positive manner. A few eventful things had happened last week, and I was looking forward to them the week before. I felt a sense of excitement and joy about the PGCE interview, the other interview invite I had recieved (That's on wednesday this week). I had bought a tuxedo and had the telephone interview as well. With the excitement of two weeks ago and the unusual amount of activity that represented a culmination of all my applications and actions of previous weeks; I have since then, felt a sense of depleted motivation. Now I am at a lower gear and my concentration and powers of action are more difficult.
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